@RingOfHonor Is The Worst

From funnyjunk.com

From funnyjunk.com

The Top Prospects Tournament got to the semifinals on TV on January 25. I didn’t watch it until it became abundantly clear that Peyton Manning had staked his claim on the “All Choke Team” during the Super Bowl. I’m in no hurry to watch ROH. They introduced Raymond Rowe as the first combatant. Corey Hollis was his opponent. ROH always does a tale of the tape before each match up which I like. The problem came along with the tale of the tape though. It noted that Rowe had debuted in 2003. Is he really a top prospect if his career has already spanned a decade? My vote is absolutely no. You’re a career minor leaguer. Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino should be using like “wily veteran move” to describe what Rowe is doing. Hollis was noted as debuting in 2009, which is the cut off for me to be a prospect. One needs some seasoning in a smaller league then you move on to bigger and better things. ROH is a good stepping stone after being seasoned in a local independent company.

Last column, I noted that I hated the size differential between Hanson and Cheeseburger. We had a similar problem this episode because Rowe is 6′-1″ and 247 pounds and Hollis is 5′-8″ and 192 pounds. That is a 55 pound swing. This discrepancy would not happen in the UFC or any other fighting league. This is professional wrestling though and you can do that. It sounds like I am countering my point I made previously but I am refining the thought. These participants, especially after the first round, should be somewhat evenly match in the skills department. They’re both desperate to get a contract with ROH and get a shot at the TV Title. They should be scrapping even if there is a size differential. Unfortunately, this match only went 5 minutes.

On the ROH management front, wouldn’t you be pissed if your talent evaluator Prince Nana has whiffed on Kongo, Cheeseburger, “The Benchmark” Bill Daly and Corey Hollis, who got into the second round? Nana may have also let in a current member of the ROH roster in the form of The Romantic Touch aka Rhett Titus even if he lost his match. A scout doesn’t get every pick right but Prince Nana has brought in a full half of bad tournament plus a fraud. That’s not just missing a prospect, that’s missing the iceberg you’re about to hit.

I have an ongoing problem with “ROH fans.” Considering that roughly 75% of their fans have TNA or WWE shirts on, they are just wrestling fans. But you consistently hear from people that they enjoy ROH because of the relative lack of story lines and concentration on wrestling. So it really got my goat that the crowd cheered quite loudly for “The Barrister” RD Evans, who is accompanied by the lovely Veda Scott. Evans is a fantastic character and quite entertaining. Scott plays her role well as taking over Evans law firm. I’ve got no problem with them at all. Evans & Scott are touting his imaginary thirteen match winning streak which grew to fourteen after the end of his match. If you enjoy wrestling and the story line “free” ROH, why do you enjoy a character that is complete story line? ROH fans are the worst. – Kevin

@RingOfHonor Is The Worst

Veda Scott ROH

Two of these four people are relevant to the topic. Screenshot courtesy of ROHWrestling.com

The Top Prospects is still going on so I’m going to try and write about a positive idea that ROH have. Unfortunately, they tested my patience with the opening match to this week’s show. Adam Everett, who Kevin Kelly, Steve Corino and Prince Nana talked about glowingly, got stuck in a match with an angle. His opponent was “The Romantic Touch“, who the announcers knew next to nothing about him including Prince Nana who organized the tournament. Veda Scott came down to call out Rhett Titus who was under the mask. Corino and Nana being misogynistic to her made some sense in that it was inline with their characters except for one small problem, she’s a heel and so are they! When Kevin Kelly joined in on the misogyny line of questioning, it became down right weird. Kelly is the baby face announcer who shouldn’t want to see a damsel in distress. The whole situation was made stranger by Scott herself making a very valid and baby face in nature point that Rhett Titus is not a top prospect hence compromising the competition. The Romantic Touch then played to Veda Scott who called him Rhett Titus. Touch got in another move or two but then played to Scott again. Everett took advantage of the distraction and rolls up Touch for the win. The Romantic Touch would not have played to her if he weren’t Rhett Titus. The last I checked, Rhett Titus was a heel. So Veda Scott, a heel, was calling out a heel in The Romantic Touch while all the announcers played doggie pile on the woman. Fantastic booking guys. To make matters worse, this Everett kid looked like he had a solid aerial arsenal but because the match was based around the angle, Everett didn’t get to show off much. He has at least one more round but I feel ripped off in the quality wrestling department.

ROH also tested my patience in the second match. Cheeseburger, crowd favorite for reasons that still escape me, took on Hanson, who looked like a Highlander. Hanson dominated in a squash match which is good because that’s what should happen when he was twice Cheeseburger’s size. The problem to me is that same obvious fact. A squash match against someone closer to Hanson’s size seems impressive. Having him beat a man that the announcers called 144 is just expected. I don’t think it gives Hanson much of a preview similarly to Everett in the first match.

The match set up was very similar to that of last week. Kongo didn’t stand much of a chance in my estimation despite being much larger physically than Cheeseburger because a green fat man with a terrible look isn’t even going to cut it in ROH. There was also a match with an angle in Corey Hollis vs “The Benchmark” Bill Daly vs Mike Posey, his partner. Fortunately for the match, the angle took place before it started. We’ve had one quality match so far out of this tournament. Here was the point that I was going to say, there are X number of matches left so we’ll see how things go. But despite going to their website and Facebook page, I can’t find the Top Prospects Tournament bracket. I made fun of Kevin Kelly last year for wanting everyone to fill out their bracket for this tournament. Now I wish I had the opportunity to just look at a bracket. ROH made it worse than last year’s Worst. – Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst Part X

Surprise+Surprise+with+Holly+Willoughby

Holly Willoughby from Surprise, Surprise.

Well I’ll be damned. Ring Of Honor put on a good show. Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander took on a debuting Alex Reynolds & John Silver. Most teams in their first match aren’t good but they performed admirably. The next match on the docket delivered too, Veda Scott taking on Ms. Chif. Even though Ms. Chif ended up winning the match, Veda Scott showed much improvement from when I saw her at Wrestlelution. She only had one year of experience at that point and has pretty much doubled that in the mean time. Very good match with a very good opponent. The third match of the show was Silas Young taking on Adam Page, another new comer. Young got to cut a promo before the match so one would assume that he was going to get the win. You would be wrong. Page ended up winning with a victory roll which made things really odd. Young had won more of the match and got the mic time so why let him lose? I only count this match as a victory because the match itself was really good. The main event was Eddie Edwards taking on Matt Taven. Kevin Kelly & Steve Corino hit Taven’s problem directly on the head when they said that his entourage of Turth Martini & the Hoopla Hotties (Scarlett is pretty damn hot) take away from how good of a wrestler Taven is. When the announcers do something right, you’ve got to give it to ROH for a good show. To boot, the min ring product did have a high quality. One part of all of these matches was that they weren’t very “ROH” in that people didn’t kick out of multiple finishers and they didn’t exchange an obnoxious amount shots. Congratulations ROH, you got one right. -Kevin

#ROH Is The Worst Part VI

rick_silva_recap

I’m digging this picture from ricksilva.net

This week’s criminal act involves the recently interviewed Veda Scott, who not only wrestles in several independent leagues but also does interviews for Ring Of Honor. Recently at an iPPV Scott was interviewing Ms. Chif. She was upset that she didn’t win a multi participant match for a chance at something. I didn’t pay attention. I don’t feel like rewinding because it doesn’t matter to this crime. Ms. Chif out of her anger spit mist into Scott’s eyes. ROH did the right thing and held Scott off of television for a couple of weeks to see the injury. This week’s show was supposed to air before the pay per view (which only taped on Sunday for me this week meaning that it aired after the iPPV debuted. That’s a whole column similar to last week’s.) so it’d make sense if they decided to add a women’s match. They don’t have enough of a women’s division to have it be a weekly feature so they start this angle at the last iPPV then have a recap on TV a couple of weeks ago and then have this week’s confrontation. Ms. Chif came out for a scheduled match and started it but then Veda Scott showed up seething. Scott then attacked Ms. Chif. They had to be pulled apart. Kevin Kelly and Prince Nana do their job and sell the change in demeanor since she had been playing a meek reporter. Scott charges a second time. They get pulled apart again. Just then Kevin Kelly says “We HAVE to go to commercial now” so that we can do the iPPV center recap. (Emphasis obviously mine.) I’ve got no problem with Kelly on this one. He’s just doing his job. If he’s a producer, he’s culpable. There is no reason you should be cutting to commercial when Scott breaks away a third time to attack Ms. Chif. You’re trying to sell a change in personality and (I’m assuming) a match at some point between the two even if it wasn’t for Border Wars. You can’t go to commercial when this is happening. You can find thirty extra seconds if you even need that much extra. Ten probably would have done the trick. ROH is the worst. -Kevin

Stunt Granny Interview Series: Aaron Bauer (@FairToAar) and Veda Scott (@Itsvedatime)

The Stunt Granny Interview Series brings you a tandem for the first time. From Absolutely Intense Wrestling, Aaron Bauer and Veda Scott who is one half of the AIW Tag Team Champion with Gregory Iron (Hope & Change), the #1 contender for the AIW Women’s Title and reigning Pro Wrestling Insider Rookie of the Year. Kevin gets to interview these two but drops the ball right off the bat and takes quite a verbal beating from Veda. The main topic of conversation is the JT Lightning Invitational Tournament. Aaron gets to break two doses of news to Veda. The first news is about her first round opponent on Friday night May 24th. Who is it? Then Aaron drops the big bomb which is about the Saturday fanfest. Will Veda have time to recover from this harrowing adventure in order to win the tournament that evening? Click on the link below for the best twenty minute interview you’ll ever hear.

Agent Aaron Journalism

#WatchROH – Aired 12 May 2012

I know it’s the wrong border. I don’t care.

Ultramantis Black is joining Nigel McGuinness & Kevin Kelly in the announce booth for the Chikara take over of ROH. They add a pillow ad on before this so I can only hope this is another short show on a PPV night. That’s not a bad plan on their part. Why waste a squash match after a PPV that has yet to be wrestled? Ophidian (Hypnosis dude) and the Ice Creams are teaming together against The Colony. They had separate names but they didn’t show them on the screen so I don’t care. They stressed the heavy Lucha Libre influence including following their rules. Soldier Ant has camouflage on. Green Ant is next in the match. I’m confused. The action is fast. They cut to commercial at a bad time.

They come back with Ricky Reyes hitting the ring for a match against Jay Lethal. What the hell happened to the Chikara match? Kelly calls Lethal’s 20 pound weight advantage negligible. Reyes went on the attack early. The announcers do a good job of selling Reyes’ previous loss on ROH TV against Roderick Strong. Lethal turned it around with a leg lariat. A hand spring back elbow only got a two count. Kelly informs us that we’ll get Border Wars highlights next week. A Roll of the Dice by Reyes got him a two count. Nigel sells ROH as a parity league. Lethal Combination then a Lethal Injection for the win. He took care of Reyes much easier than Tomasso Ciampa taking care of Matt Taven the previous week.

Veda Scott interviewed Davey Richards about his match with Rhino. Richards is confused why Truth Martini would hire a hit man when he has something better in Michael Elgin. Richards said Rhino won’t be able to gore him with a broken ankle. Richards tells Rhino he’ll knock him back into the jungle if he does get a chance to try and gore him. Richards then gives us his best Blue Steel look.

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#WatchROH – Aired 7 May 2012

We get a replay of Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander beating the Briscoes with the help Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Tomasso Ciampa starts off the show with his clown car. Matt Taven is his opponent. Kevin Kelly tries to sell us on Taven’s credibility. Ciampa got a quick jump on Taven. Jay Lethal comes to ring side and sits down. Ciampa nailed his finisher then stared at Lethal. Taven reversed into a suplex on the exposed concrete. They exchange on their knees and feet back in the ring. Taven uses his legs to his advantage. Taven gives Ciampa a neck breaker after Ciampa was hung up on the top rope. Ciampa kicks out after a frog splash. Nigel McGuinness says the crowd is going nuts. They aren’t. Ciampa gave Taven a jumping knee but only got two. Ciampa kneed Taven twice in the Tree of Woe.  Ciampa nails “Project Ciampa” for a win. If a schmuck gives Ciampa this trouble, shouldn’t Lethal walk all over him?

Veda Scott interviewed TJ Perkins who will be wrestling Mike Mondo again. The Young Bucks make fun of Perkins. They still suck, not in a good way. Perkins had a paint by numbers promo. He’s not engaging. I love his in ring work. They shake hands, which is more of a rarity than not shaking. Perkins gets in a neck breaker. Mondo crawled under the ring to attack Perkins from behind. Mondo fish hooked and dragged Taven around. Kevin Kelly tells me to set my DVR to watch Rhino take on Davey Richards. It won’t be that epic. Mondo ground his elbow into Perkins head. Mondo exposed the eyeball and appeared to be ready to eat it. Perkins fought out and started to use his speed advantage. Perkins nails a missile drop kick. The Young Bucks came to ring side. They distract Perkins. Mondo tumbles to the floor. Obvious over the top rope spot. One of the Young Bucks holds a leg. Mondo gets the win. The All Night Express makes the save after Mondo & the Bucks attack PErkins after the match.

Charlie Haas gives everyone a reminder that the Briscoes started the war between themselves. Shelton Benjamin said they want their belts. The Briscoes admit to starting the feud. They’re going to whoop them in Toronto. Truth Martini runs down his houses matches. Roderick Strong told Fit Finlay he’ll be in for the biggest fight of his life. Michael Elgin tells Adam Cole that he’s the only break out star. Rhino said that he’s going to take out Eddie Edwards. Eddie says it’s all about who can take more punishment. He told Rhino he won’t stand in his way to getting the ROH Title back. Mike Bennett told Lance Storm that he’s pathetic for asking for a rematch. Bennett said that Storm’s career will come to an end at Border Wars. I just realized that Border Wars was last night. Their events seem more packed together than the WWE’s PPV. I’m not even looking up the results but Dusty’s “LOL ROH” tweet takes on a whole other context now.

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#WatchROH – Aired 28 April 2012

It’s more highlights from Showdown In The Sun. They showed off the Briscoes beating the World’s Greatest Tag Team, Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin. Benajmin & Haas attacked the Briscoes after the match so they had to be carried to the back. I’ve bitched about other companies giving away their pay per views. It’s even worse when you only show the pin fall.

Cedric Alexander & Caprice Coleman are in a Proving Ground match against the Briscoes. ROH has too many types of matches. Alexander get the upper hand on Mark early.  Coleman started to get worked over by both Briscoes. Alexander gets a luke warm tag. Alexander gets a two count from a face buster. Coleman got wheel barrowed into the barracade. Alexander kicked out after a combo ending with a Razor’s Edge. Haas & Benajmin low blowed Jay with no one seeing it. Mark takes the pin after a huracanrana & frog splash combo.

Veda Scott interviewed Prince Nana & Barrister Evans along with Truth Martini. Rhino had his contract purchased by Martini. Rhino is going to rip Eddie Edwards in half. Vinny Marseglia was the sacrificial lamb for a debuting Rhino. The best thing I can say about this match is that Rhino is in much better shape than just about any other ECW alumni. Everyone was cheering Rhino. Um, he’s never been a particularly good wrestler. Rhino wins with a Gore.

I think John Cena gets less mic time than Kevin Steen. I’d take his dick jokes over Steen droning on about a horrendous angle any day. Jimmy Jacobs is with him. Kevin Kelly & Jim Cornette were already in the ring. Steen makes a fat joke about Cornette. People in glass houses Mr. Steen, should not throw rocks. He did have a good crack about the flags and theme of Border Wars being so 1987. Davey Richards comes out drag down the quality of this segment even more. Steen claimed that Richards promised to help him but he didn’t. Steen steals the show every time. Richards says he’s holding himself down.  Steen says that Richards threatened to leave ROH multiple times. They were ready to fight but security separates them. Cornette wants them to sign a waiver since the pile driver will be legal for the match. Cornette slipped in a provision that this is Steen’s only shot at the title. The segment was OK when they were yelling at each other. Richards would only threaten to go to Japan because his mic skills aren’t even good enough for TNA.

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#WatchROH – Aired 3rd March 2012

This aired just over a week ago.

Because of my preference for PWO, I give it first billing for reviews. They are not airing a new show this week so I hope to get to this week’s episode of ROH quicker. It’ll still be tough though because I’m headed to Smackdown on Tuesday. The plans are for me to do an exit interview audio. We shall see. Anyway, this episode is before last week’s pay per view so I’m pretty late on this episode. It’s kind of irrelevant. Whatever though, it’s content. Let’s roll.

It’s another episode from Baltimore. They really do tape more shows in one place than PWO. Holy cow. Mike Bennett is with Maria talks about Lance Storm. They’re going to fight March 30th. TJ Perkins forgets to name himself. He’s worth Bennett’s time. That was pretty cheesy in a bad way. Brutal Bob is such a bad idea. The act is bigger than the wrestler. I like Perkins in the ring. His character stinks. That can be said a lot in ROH. Poor Kevin Kelly has to talk about “the numbers game”. You could almost sense he didn’t want to use it. It was a gift to us fans to get their iPPV for $9.99. if it was a gift, it’d be a regular PPV for $9.99. Perkins lock in a submission. Maria distracted him. Bennett nails a cutter for the win.

Veda Scott gets to spend time with another faction that is too big. Tomasso Ciampa has nothing to lose at the PPV.  I like the guy’s promo delivery. He doesn’t need the clown suits. Guy Alexander is wrestling Ciampa. They let the other two clowns come to ringside. Kelly said his name but I don’t care. Ciampa is good in the ring too. Please get rid of the circus around him. The ref calls the match after Ciampa knees him in the face six times. I think he lost or they went time limit.

The Briscoes get to talk about the Young Bucks. They know the Bucks are serious but they mean business. Kevin Steen put on his party hat for Jimmy Jacobs. The blood will flow. The All Night Express wants to take out the Young Bucks because they took out Rhett Titus. The Young Bucks suggested a tornado match. All Night suggested a street fight. They will wrestle both over the March 30 & 31 in Florida. So they’re pimping two pay per views on one show. Mildly confusing. Maybe I should just say it lacks focus. Wait until after March 4th for people to talk about those matches.

Eddie Edwards is fighting Roderick Strong for the chance to fight Davey Richards in Miami. Good match so far They haven’t gone for the usual trade moves then look at each other with “respect”. Edwards gave Roderick a single leg drop kick from the floor while Roderick was in the Tree of Woe. Slick spot. Nigel trying to talk about Roderick and how physical he is. That is hilarious. You need more muscle tone to sell me on that. Great pace to the match as they hit the break.

Strong took over during the break with the help of a Truth Martini low bridge of Edwards. Strong kicked out after a middle rope Code Breaker. Strong hung out Edwards on the top rope. Back breaker and Gut Buster combo only got a to count for Strong. Edwards countered a super back breaker into a huracanrana. Edwards got in a back pack chin breaker. They traded kicks. Adam cole took out Truth Martini. Michael Elgin came out. Edwards nailed a suicide dive. Strong used a device on his boot to win. A second ref comes out and tells the ref he missed it. The second ref restarts the match and Edwards wins. The refs argue into commercial. Dumb. Killed a good match even if they restart it for a winner.

Kevin Kelly is explaining what happened in the ring. He asks Jim Cornette for a decision. Cornette explains the situation. Cornette does the logical thing and makes it a three way elimination match. Should be good stuff. -Kevin

PWO – Season 5 – Episode 13

This makes your review pointless.

Joe Dombrowski and Aaron Maguire introduce the show. Matt Cross defends the PWO Title against Bobby Beverly. “The Megastar” Marion Fontaine takes on Corey Winters. Bobby Shields with Nicki Valentino kicks the show off against Bryan Castle who didn’t have Brian Bender. The ref did the old school pat down. Shields starts with punches. Castle hip tossed Shields three times. Castle slammed him. Castle waved at Valentino. Shields attacked him from behind on the floor. Shields missed a chop and hit the post. Castle started to attack the hand. Valentino held Castle’s leg so that Shields could attack again. Shields kneed Castle in the gut. Shields choked him. Shields missed a splash. Castle put on the head band and clotheslined Shields. Castle drop kicked him. Shields got splashed. Castle low clotheslined him. Valentino distracted the ref. Shields kicked Castle in the face. He only got a two count. Shields got tossed over the rope and noggin knocked with Valentino. Castle tried to suplex Shields back into the ring but Valentino grabbed his leg. Shields countered into a splash and Valentino held the legs for the three count.

Analysis: Really good match up. Well wrestled and well executed. It protects Castle but Shields gets the win. Well done sirs. Score: +1.

Krimson tells Jason Bane that Wrestlelution was not going to be their last meeting. He says he’s been in a no DQ match with Bane and he knows what’s coming. Krimson said he learned from his mistakes and will not repeat them. Krimson tells Matt Mason to walk away before he drowns in a sea of misery and despair. Analysis: I’m just digging this dude right now. Really thoughtful evil promos. Score: +1.

Jason Bane states the stipulations in the match. He says that if he needs to become a monster to beat Krimson and will do it. Bane promises to become the most brutal of them all. Analysis: It’s a tough spot. I thought it got the point across but he followed Krimson so it feels worse than it should. He’s just not that great at mic work but Bane has improved. Score: +1.

Matt Mason said that he can’t get a response from him. Mason said that he’s going to get a hold of Krimson. Mason is calling him out on his sickness. Mason said he’s tired of Krimson trying to crush other people’s dream. Mason said that if Krimson can’t stop his own sickness, he will. Analysis: He could have used a little more pep to really nail this thing but he needs to pivot to more than an observer at this point. This promo seemed pointed that way. Score: +1.

Marion Fontaine came out first. Corey Winters tried to hype up the crowd. (They need the last venue back.) Fontaine primps to the crowd. They tied up in the corner. Fontaine broke clean. Winters backed Fontaine into the corner. He broke clean too. Winters arm dragged Fontaine and held him down with an arm bar. Dombrowski zinged Maguire. Fontaine kneed Winters. Corey yanked on Fontaine’s arm. Fontaine flipped out of the arm bar but bragged so Winters yanked on his arm multiple times. Winters flipped him onto his back. Fontaine didn’t get enough air for a leap frog. Fontaine drop kicked Winters. They redid the spot. Fontaine went for a monkey flip but Winters pulled his legs backwards and Irish whipped him. Winters super arm dragged him out of the ring. Winters nailed a cross body to the floor. Fontaine rammed Winters into the guard rail. Fontaine tossed him back into the ring. Fontaine yapped to the crowd from the apron. Winters grabbed the injured left arm but Fontaine jumped backwards. Fontaine started to work over Winters left arm. Fontaine punched him. Fontaine chin locked Winters. Winters fought out. Fontaine basement drop kicked Winters. Fontaine kicked Winters to the mat. He over shot a moonsault as noted by Dombrowski.  Winters punched him. Winters nailed an enziguri. Winters hit a Cutter. He only got a two count. Fontaine kicked Winters in the face charging into a corner. He followed it up with a super kick. Fontaine missed a spring board. Winters hit a stomach buster. He went for Sliced Bread #2 but Fontaine ducked under and held the tights for the three count. Justin LaBar orders the match restarted because of said held tights. Winters rolls up Fontaine while holding the tights which he should have seen but Dombrowski said he had turned around. Fontaine assaulted Winters after the match. Fontaine yelled at LaBar. Fontaine says he wants the tapes.

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