Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/19/11

1. Netflix – So did you fork over 29.99 or more on a recent WWE DVD? Well, stupid, you could have waited and watched each documentary portion of the DVD on Netflix. And boy oh boy is this a relief because the Bobby Heenan DVD sucked a fat one. Let’s forget they even bothered with a Big Show documentary as well. – Jeremy

2. The Miz – Another week and yet another strong performance from the forgotten member of WrestleMania 27 main event. A big kudos to the make-up person for the bald cap cause that sure was effective. It fooled a bleary-eyed guy just waking up watching the show. – Jeremy

3. Jeff Hardy – Have you heard the one about the guy that was in no condition to perform but he got sent to the ring anyway? Well this is that one. As much as Jeff should be vilified for this let’s not give an inch on anyone else behind the scenes in TNA. They are just as responsible for this debacle as dear Jeffrey. – Jeremy

4. Jim Ross – The Okie returned to Monday Night Raw in the midst of an awkward but effective Jerry Lawler-Brian Christopher confrontation, got the pop of the night, then suffered a legit (but probably minor) injury in the process. Even though we’ll be there live, it’ll still be nice to know JR is at ringside calling the action, if he’s allowed to be. – Eric

5. Drew Carey – Just goes to show that an association with TNA means nothing. Carey didn’t even make the Stunt Granny Big 11 last week when he called TNA’s Brian Kendrick to “The Price is Right’s” stage, but now that he’s being inducted into the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame, he’s all over this list! Lucky duck! – Eric

6. Snooki – You know, I planned on slamming Jersey Shore. Then I got the smart idea to Google what their ratings are. Much to my surprise, their season 3 debut had 8.4 million viewers. This garbage got a 4.2 rating among adults. These numbers beg the question, if crap is rewarded this well, why aren’t our hits through the roof? – Kevin

7. The Rock – I love that every male above the age of 16 that watches wrestling is so desperate to see John Cena mocked for his ridiculous antics that they liked the Rock’s awful promo on Monday. The Rock doesn’t walk on water, he’s not perfect. One could see the child gag coming because it’s the WWE and anytime someone is mocking their opponent they use a child or midget. Hack material, no way around it. Don’t worry, I’m not just offending you the reader, I’m also offending my site comrades. – Kevin

8. WWE Superstars – In a shocking turn of events, Superstars is going off the air April 7th, according to WGN. Another poorly run program that wasn’t used for any storyline purposes and half of the show was reruns from the previous Raw or Smackdown. This cancellation feels like a tree falling in the woods with no one around. – Kevin

9. GLAAD – WWE recently announced a partnership with GLAAD in order to “create and promote an anti-bullying initiative aimed at their core audience.” This comes on the heels of the backlash against John Cena’s anti-gay promos. Look, this is nice and all to say, but let’s face it here. WWE’s “core audience” is lower income white trash Walmart people. They are by and large racist and homophobic people. (I’m stereotyping just like they do.) They aren’t going to buy this message, no matter how well done it is. And shame on GLAAD for trusting WWE in any way whatsoever after the whole Billy and Chuck fiasco. – Dusty

10. Daffney – So Daffney’s contract expired, and TNA chose not to renew it. In turn, she has filed a worker’s compensation suit against TNA because of on-the-job injuries suffered that have not been properly compensated for by the company. This basically makes her unemployable for any major wrestling company, but maybe her thought is to cash in while she has the chance and get the hell out of the business altogether. My mom recently filed a worker’s comp suit herself, and the lawyer said he only takes cases where he thinks he has a great chance of winning, so maybe that bodes well for young Daffney. – Dusty

11. Victory Road – Holy god, that was an awful PPV. Maybe one of the worst ever. Sweet Jesus, what an awful company. – Dusty

TNA to give away “on demand” service in exchange for Jeff Hardy drug binge

jeff hardy

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." *punch punch Scorpion Death Drop* "Hey, wait a dang ol' minute!?!"

According to Prowrestling.net, TNA Wrestling is offering six months of free online on-demand service for customers frustrated after ordering the Sacrifice or Victory Road or Destination X or whatever the hell PPV that was this past weekend and being cheated out of a real main event (not because it only lasted 90 seconds but because it featured Sting vs. Jeff Hardy, as if that’s a main event). Here’s the note from their Web site:

“TNA Wrestling strives to give fans who purchase our pay-per-views as close to a full three-hour event as possible. This past Sunday’s “TNA Victory Road” fell short of that standard.  Your support of TNA is never taken for granted. To show you how we value that support, we would like to offer six months of free access to the TNAondemand.com library.”

One: I love how the No. 1 thing they can boast about their PPVs is the proximity to a three-hour show, not the quality of the booking or the action or anything. Two: What, really, is the value of an on-demand service where you can call up, at your leisure, discretion and convenience, matches where Abyss slices himself half to death and draws no money, Orlando Jordan gays it up to the nth degree and draws no heat, and Rob Terry plods his water-logged ass through the motions and draws no positive-testing blood samples? All for being cheated out of a PPV climax? Sign me up! -Eric

Sting Defeats Jeff Hardy at Victory Road

If you ever wonder why there is such disdain for TNA on this site, we proudly present to you the results of TNA’ Victory Road main-event between Jeff Hardy and Sting. watch it while you can.

Sting defeated Jeff Hardy in one minute and twenty-eight seconds in the main event of TNA’s Victory Road PPV.

One minute and twenty-eight seconds.

Eighty-eight total seconds.

1:28

-Jeremy

Stunt Granny Big 11 Week Ending 3/12/11

1. JBL – With his awesome promo, his inside jokes about bullying, and his general awesome heel demeanor, JBL stole the show on Monday Night Raw. That is until…

2. Steve Austin – … Stone Cold stole the show with his usual good-time, beer-swillin’, cameraman-chasin’ antics. That is until…
3. Michael Cole – … Michael Cole stole the show with his pouty, chickenshit, unfit-to-headline heel-character fit at the top of the stage. That is until…
4. The Miz – … the Miz stole the show with his pitch-perfect promo at the end of the night. I would love to see him slap the Rock across the face one of these days to show him who’s boss around here. – Eric

5. Brodus Clay – The guy may not have won NXT (or at least that’s what I read) but he certainly appears to have won because he’s made TV appearances on Raw & Smackdown this week. Del Rio could use an enforcer so Brodus may have found a permanent spot for himself. – Kevin

6. Women’s Wrestling in the WWE – I can’t fully get into my thoughts in this list but it needed to be mentioned. I have no idea why the WWE continues to feature women’s wrestling if they’re going to shit on it. Any other program would take off something they don’t like. Look at Two & a Half Men. Charlie Sheen #Losing! – Kevin

7. Victory Road – I watched TNA this week, as I do most weeks, and even tweeted about the show a couple of times. When I was trying to think of topics to put in the Big 11, I had forgotten in less than 24 hours that TNA had a pay per view this week. That’s how piss poor their go home show was on Thursday. – Kevin

8. Kurt Angle – He had an interview in the UK Sun. Among the topics he touched were that he doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett personally (Duh, he’s fucking your ex-wife. I hate the prick that’s doing the same to mine and I don’t have to work with him.) but respects him as wrestler (You’re an idiot). Angle is happy with the product  so he won’t go back to the WWE. The whipped cream and cherry to this interview is that he’ll retire in TNA because he’s very excited with their product (The King of the White Trash is excited for the White Trash of the wrestling landscape, go figure). – Kevin

9. Microphones- TNA has too many of them. Of course it may be that they have about four but they continue to give them to the wrong people. Impact this week just had too many people yapping about brainless and stupid shit. Yes this is par the course but it just seemed more annoying this week. -Jeremy

10. The Miz- He reminded us all just how stupid The People’s Elbow really is . Seeing someone else do the move does make you appreciate what The Rock does.  -Jeremy

11. Kevin Nash- Just when you thought he couldn’t bilk the fans for more money he does it again. Ok, maybe not bilk but he sure knows how to make money. They guy is having a private party and inviting fans to attend? Sweet Jesus, where do we sign up? Imagine all the creepy goodness that could come of this. Or it could be a total disaster.  -Jeremy

Stunt Granny Audio #105: Rob Van Sandman Edition

Jeff Hardy

"Whew... huh... huh... got winded... listening to that audio, guys!"

Eric and Kevin join forces to discuss TNA Victory Road and the Russoesque booking that followed two surprisingly decent editions of iMPACT! How overbooked were the finishes to pretty much, well, every match? Ask Dixie. Oh wait, she has her head too far up her own ass to tell. The guys switch to discussing the Hardees and each of their recent weight gain, as well as Matt’s latest YouTube video. He’s a real viral sensation, kinda like HIV. The boys recap the big happenings on Raw, including the human Scrabble game, Nexus, and its beatdown of all things babyface, such as John “My Mom Got Me a Subscription to National Geographic for my Birthday” Morrison. Oh, and a special guest calls into the show! We won’t tell you who or when; you’ll have to click to listen! (82 minutes)

Stunt Granny Audio #105

TNA Victory Road review

A victory garden: A much smarter way to have spent three hours than watching Victory Road.

A victory garden: A much smarter way to have spent three hours than watching Victory Road.

Oh man, Eric and Kevin are here to discuss TNA Victory Road, which expired more so than it ended. What did the gents think of the nine-match shit-a-thon? How about Lauren’s turn from exasperated love interest to cucumber-cool interviewer? How about heels hulking up like bombastic babyfaces? Who turned in the few passable performances of the night? Who should be ashamed he or she even bothered stepping (a leopard-print-boot-covered) foot in the ring? Listen and find out!

TNA Victory Road Review

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