Insane Clown Posse names a song “Chris Benoit” and, quite frankly…

… it’s about god damn time. The ice needed to be broken. The statute of limitations within general pop culture and pro wrestling discourse had to end eventually. Even if WWE never utters the name “Chris Benoit” again, I’m glad two fat guys who paint their faces, spray people with orange soda and rap about the supernatural are the ones to do it. According to Prowrestling.net, ICP is currently filming a video for “Chris Benoit,” a song off ICP’s upcoming “The Mighty Death Pop!” album that Violent J claims is “about the loss of sanity” but I believe is about the science behind a diving headbutt.

Now, don’t take my above thoughts as an endorsement for taking lots and lots of steroids, bumping every night in a way that jars your spine, smashing your head until your brain turns into corn and mashed potatoes, and then killing your wife and kid on steroid rage. What I’m saying is, even the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” joke is going to get old soon, and someone had to put the words “Chris Benoit” back into our vocabulary. Might as well be two rascally rappin’ rasslin’ fans whose Juggalo followers, in their 48-inch-waist Jncos and stupid hairdos, have been labeled by the FBI as a “loosely organized gang.” On second thought, Chris Benoit would be rolling over in his grave. -Eric

Stunt Granny Poll: Who is behind the WWE “Second Day of 2012” videos?

So WWE is attempting to go viral with something else and make us sift through literally ones of clues so that we might solve the mystery: Who is behind the “Second Day of 2012” videos? Vote on your favorite option above, or select “Other” and leave a comment below!

MVP “Holla to the World” features skanks, cars, white T-shirts, soulless beats

Former WWE superstar MVP (follow him on Twitter at @The305MVP) released a song and a video titled “Holla at the World” where the pro wrestler presumably hollas at the world. How does he do it, you ask? Well, with the help of three skanks walking under a bridge in a desolate part of town (0:17); with the help of a punk-rock white-chick bartender serving drinks to billiards-shooting bikini broads (1:24); with the help of a guy who looks like if Kanye West spent a night on the town with Matt Hardy bouncing from Cracker Barrel to Cracker Barrel (1:51); and with the help of the barely employed Carlito (3:27; yeah, hanging out with your ratty friend who only has a job thanks to his dad will help you get the women).

I don’t know who produced the beats for this song, but they sound like they were purchased from some stock bin and were made in Fruity Loops or Garage Band by a rich white kid with nothing else better to do. MVP also makes the rookie MC mistake of trying to squeeze too many god damn words into one song, like this is the only chance he’ll ever have to share the contents of his diary journal notebook rhyme collection with us. “Love the models in HOTTUBS WAIT I HAVE MORE WORDS TO SPIT OUT!” Calm down, Veep, I’m sure you’ll release another video (that you record in front of a green screen in the mall) whether we want you to or not. -Eric

YouTuber completely skewers Braden Walker

Words cannot do this video justice.

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