@TotalDivas – She Said (He Edited) – Episode 12

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

Logo from a blogspot of the same name.

There have been 9 episodes of Total Diva’s that I have written about and today’s article reaches the double digits. (Kevin’s Edit: Look at the banner lady. You’ve been in the double digits.) Last night I asked Kevin if we could stop watching Total Divas and 5 minutes into the show I realized why. The show lacks on drama and substance. I think watching two kittens play with a ball of string for 45 minutes would be more entertaining than what I had to sit through last night. The entire episode is now scripted, has boring story lines, and I think I’d rather watch paint dry.

When I first started writing these articles, blogs, whatever you want to call them, I thought the Total Divas show was going to show the life of a WWE Diva and their impact in a man’s field. Where showing your skills and working hard to get TV time would help all of us understand the difficulties in making it in the WWE Diva world. What I’ve witnessed these past 10 episodes is that these ladies live a very boring life, so the WWE has to script every scene and create instability within the Diva relationships just to give us a show to watch every week. (Kevin’s Edit: Everyone knew the WWE would pump it up but it all seems so set up to create “drama” that isn’t dramatic.) Jojo has become non-existent on the show, Nattie only talks about hoochie Eva Marie and do I need to hear another comment out of Eva Marie on how hot she is? With this being said, here is my next review on episode 10 of Total Diva’s.

We begin the episode with Eva Marie being scanned. I didn’t understand at first why she was being scanned until I saw the figure of Diva Nattie and then understood. Why in the hell are they making an Eva Marie action figure? Seriously? (Kevin’s Edit: The WWE thinks they have a heel in the making. Unfortunately, she’s unlikable and untalented. Unless you count hotness as talent.) Nattie seemed particularly taken aback by it as well. While Eva Marie is being scanned she said “Let’s make my boobs bigger so I sell more action figures and boost sales.” Of course the only man in the room piped up and said that was a good idea. Once again, Nattie calls Eva Marie a hoochie, we all know that she is, thanks Nattie for reminding us. This is where I knew the show was going to tank and asked if we could just delete it and I could make up my own story line for the blog, but Kevin informed me, that we should just watch the show. So onward! (Kevin’s Edit: The sarcasm about Nattie already makes my choice correct.)

We next have Ariane. She thinks it’s brilliant to get her tool of a boyfriend, or is it her fiance now? who knows, an appointment with a WWE trainer so they could be WWE wrestlers together. What part of this sounds staged? huh. Vincent agrees and goes to the training ring where he finds out that it’s freakin’ hard to be a wrestler and after 1  training day is exhausted and unable to even finish the routine guy is having him do. All the while Ariane is telling Vincent he’s doing good, but on the back camera says she made a mistake for this, really? Do you think so? So on day 2 Vincent once again is too exhausted to go on. Because even though he’s a big dude, it’s cardio man, it’s hard when you aren’t in that kind of shape, and the trainer tells him, he’s not WWE material. (Kevin’s Edit: I remember running Warrior Dash last year. It was hilarious to see these giant bulked up guys trying to run. They had no cardio despite all of the muscles. Vincent is the same way.) I don’t know if those are tears of joy or tears of sadness, but Vincent breaks down. Luckily, he has a backup plan to be a Hooka entrepreneur and open his own shop. Good for you Vincent and thanks WWE for a nice scripted segment for Ariane and Vincent.

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