Chyna has filmed a Royal Rumble inspired porno.

You read the headline right, according to TMZ, Chyna is continuing her porn career and doing it all wrong. She has reportedly filmed a Royal Rumble inspired porno for Vivid Entertainment. No official details have been released yet but it is safe to say it is some sort of gangbang. Or did they actually go with the Royal Rumble format of a new guy every 2 minutes as Kevin suggested?

This would help but then we all know that at one point in the Rumble that there are more than two participants in the ring. At the very least she is riding a train. What are the rules of all of this?  In the words of Eric, how do you get eliminated cough, moving on, that does bring up a valid point do you get eliminated by eliminating? So is this a friggin bukake video as well? Someone needs to step in and guide her career and that person is me.

I know you can’t go back in time and reverse your decisions. You did start off correctly though with the poorly shot celebrity sex tape. It was gross and poorly directed and edited as it should be. What you did there was build up anticipation for a real video.

Chyna, may I call you Chyna? You don’t start a porn career by knobbing two men at once. You especially do not start your career by allowing yourself to be slobbed on by any more than one participant. It is called anticipation. You build your audience up. Remember pro wrestling? You don’t have a cage match at the beginning of a feud unless you are in TNA. No, you start off with a simple match and then escalate from there. You should have stuck with a one guy cameo role and then some alone time with you and your favorite rubber friend. You begin building up the feud until everyone is clamoring for the payoff.Where is your management in all of this?

Your career path in porno is going to burn out by the end of 2012 at this rate. You need to take a step back and start over. If possible delay this flick until 2015. This way you can start the build again. Chyna with men; then Chyna with all women; the Chyna with two men again; then Chyna goes anal; then Chyna goes all threesomes; then Chyna gives up all her holes, then you get to the gang bang when you are really desperate for money, I mean when you have done all you can with your art.

Please heed this advice; you need management that knows what they are doing. If you need any help feel free and contact us here at Stunt Granny. There will always be a voice of reason for you. -Jeremy

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Peenclit 2: Electric Boogaloo

Just, oh shit:

The former WWE star, Chyna, is relaunching her porn career with a brand-spankin� new debut. When she approached Vivid demanding a role with the best male stuntcock, Vivid did her one better and gave her the two top male performers in the business. How do you make Chyna better? Team her up with Dylan Ryder and Diana Prince. Tentatively called �Backdoor to Chyna,� this premier represents a whole new side of Chyna as she pushes her boundaries with a scorching anal scene� Enter through the back.

I’m going to go take 832 showers now. – Dusty

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