The Art of Wrestling – #TNA @ImpactWrestling’s 12 Days of Christmas

memegeneokerlund.com

memegeneokerlund.com

So I decided to move over to TNA this week to look for Christmas deals after covering the WWE last week. Before even getting to any of the deals, I was immediately confused. I don’t have a bookmark for WWEShop.com or ShopTNA.com. I go to their site proper and link to their shopping sites. As I scroll over the ShopTNA tab, the first thing I notice is the fact that both Hulk Hogan, who has been off TV since October, and AJ Styles, who may not be signed to a new contract, both have their own subsections. I understand that TNA needs to sell the merchandise that they have in stock. Since both gentlemen aren’t under contract and have had spats with Dixie Carter on air, the least they could do is remove their names from the pull down men.

When I clicked on ShopTNA.com, I then clicked on Happy Holidays deal banner. The first day I went to the site, Rockstar Spud greeted me. When I refreshed the site today, James Storm greeted me. Rockstar Spud should not greet me because he’s been on TV for all of three or four episodes and he’s a heel. Just bad marketing on their part. If he was a likeable heel like Christopher Daniels or Kazarian. Take the WWE as an example, they have recently started hawking their wares on TV. If memory serves, R Truth, the Prime Time Players, Dolph Ziggler, the Funkadactyls and The Bellas have done the segment. What do they have in common? They’re all baby faces. The fact that Dixie Carter was in the marketing field prior to running TNA, one would think she’d recognize this problem. I’m glad they’re using Storm now since he fits the mold.

There is another problem with this page. TNA went with the Happy Holidays wording. But then their slogan is ” Celebrate 12 Days of Christmas with ShopTNA.com.” I celebrate Christmas but am perfectly fine with using Happy Holidays. What I don’t think you should do is mix the two up which is precisely what they did. This deal is a stinker too. TNA is giving away one free item per day from the 9th until the 20th. They have provided enough of a sample size at this point to know they’re not going to give away anything even as “expensive” as a shirt. Day 1 was an IMPACT Twisted Necklace. Day 2 got you a Dixie Carter Shop TNA exclusive Action Figure. They got daring on day 3 by offering not just a Jeff Hardy Souvenir Cup (which is being modeled by the no longer employed So Cal Val) and Coloring Book. Today’s gift is a random pair of sunglasses. Seriously. They aren’t even telling you which piece of garbage they’re going to send you. The only catch with this “deal” is that you need to order a physical gift so no MP3s or digital goods will get you this fabulous extra(s).

I’d love to nit pick actual presents but that is the only deal they have going for Christmas. Looks like I’ll have to go back to the bargain bin at WWEShop.com next week for your entertainment. – Kevin

The Art of Wrestling – @WWE Christmas Sales

christmas-tree-and-presentsEveryone loves to shop this year so allow me to show you some gifts that the WWEShop.com. They have their usual special page for Christmas but it took me to the children’s page first. Normally, I wouldn’t bite on this category but it’s hard to pass up this toy train, especially since my father has a massive train set.

– The WWE Smackdown Express Holiday Train is the perfect gift for your child. Starting from the caboose, the WWE has pictures of CM Punk (I think), Undertaker, Sheamus and Randy Orton. That is quite a bit of Superstar power to be taking the train. Since this is the WWE and we’re stuck in the 70’s, the train still has what I would call in cartoon terms the “Hobo Car” next. You know the train car that is always empty because trains just go from point to point without transporting anything. The hobos in this instance are are HHH down a on knee posing with a sledge hammer and Big Show who looks like he’s trying to spook you or act as a crane to grab something coming past the train. What a bizarre look this car has. They could be wrestling each other or sitting next to each other, legs dangling out of the hobo car and it would look 100% less strange. We move along to the coal car which on has  the logo for the “Night Before Christmas World Tour” on it. I think an appropriate use of the coal car would be to put everyone’s picture on it who has been “Future Endeavored” this year since they’ll be getting coal for Christmas. The fourth and final car is the engine car. Vince’s ego is so big that he’s the one driving, right? Nope, you are wrong. The engineer of this train is John Cena. So if we’re booking by how this train lays out their cars, Cena is definitely winning at TLC.

– My older niece started collecting snow globes the other year. I didn’t get her one this year but if I had looked at WWEShop.com first, I would have. Look at this fantastic WWE Championship Snow Globe. It features the WWE Championship inside of the globe itself. The mounting for this globe is of course a wrestling ring with ropes included. The ring skirt has the WWE logo on one side and the Raw logo on another. I’d love to say they’re knocking Smackdown but that’s the theme of the train. I’m sure some young lad is thinking of setting up his train set around this wrestling ring snow globe that is sure to get everyone talking during the holidays. (About how much of a rube this child is for shucking out $29.99 for this hunk of garbage.

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WWE Cyber Monday Deals

The WWE advertized deals up to 90% off select items during Raw last night. Naturally I started looking for deals last night during the show in my Blog (see below, I’m not linking it) but couldn’t find any in the first three or four pages. Luckily, the WWE has kept these deals going through today. I have looked through many more pages. Here are the deals I came up with that are 90% off.

Zack Ryder – 8×10 Unsigned Photo – Are you ready to go to a wrestling convention, bro? I say pick up this SSSIIICCCKKK photograph so that you can shell out the money you saved for his autograph.

WWE Magazine – August 2011 – I mean, who wouldn’t want this priceless item for 99 cents? I was curious to find out what exactly was in this magazine so I could make fun of it’s stellar contents. The WWE didn’t mention the information when you’re giving this away for 90% off! Instead of getting that information, I’m going to leave you with a Youtube clip that reviews the magazine. Naturally, no American is dumb enough to do this review. It is a very riveting so enjoy.

Yes, that is the entire list of items 90% off out of a total of 401 items. Advertisements are always genuine. Never a hint of a lie in them. At least you can get these items for a combined $1.18. -Kevin

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