Alyssa Flash Gone From TNA.

Thanks to Cheerleadermelissa.com and Chickfight for this fine picture.

It just gets funnier and funnier in the land of TNA. Cheerleader Melissa, better known in TNA as Alyssa Flash has asked for her release from TNA according to PWTorch.com. These dumb bastards are possibly going to let another, young, fresh face go so they can continue with the likes of “Towel Guy Dudley” Sean Morley? Yes she may be just another puny woman but she is marketable and young unlike TNA’s current direction. Plus she has an amazingly cute lisp. This doesn’t really mean much but she does.

Here comes the full disclosure statement; I love everything about Melissa. So the idea of her being unemployed after this is unsettling. There is always the indy scene of course and a return to Shimmer would be aces.

I am not sure she is what WWE is looking. As Eric likes to say “She is the bee’s knees” but then WWE doesn’t like their women to look like real women, let alone wrestle.

Since Kong has also asked for her release it is possible that WWE can swoop them up as a package type deal and interject them on Smackdown. This won’t happen but the idea of her versus Mickie James makes my nether regions tingled in delight. – Jeremy

Guest Hosts Know Best

Smackdown was my favorite show even before Mickie James got traded.

Nancy O’Dell announced part of a trade involving the WWE Divas last night. Fortunately our good buddy Jason Powell detailed the remainder of the trade since the WWE was too lazy to announce the full trade last night. This is the second time this year a trade has taken place,the first was under Donald Trump. If a guest owner and host know that their roster can use a mid-season tune up, the professionals like Teddy Long, Tiffany or even past GMs like Vickie Guerrero should have known that it was a good thing. I suppose they don’t watch sports because they annually have a trade deadline count down for any sport. Even the NFL has gotten into the act this year with a recent trade of Braylon Edwards. As for the trade itself, I’ll do a little break down:

To Raw: Melina is going to miss the canned applause something fierce. She missed it last night already with the half assed way they introduced her. She’s still one of the top 10 worst babyfaces ever. Please turn her heel again. The Bella Twins will get to rehash their switching places gimmick on the Raw brand again (Yippee!) and be arm candy for the male guest hosts. They are good looking so they can fulfill this duty.  Eve Torres is working hard at being a good wrestler and has some pretty solid mic skills as displayed with her interactions with Cryme Tyme. The absence of a posse may hurt her though.

To Smackdown: Mickie James will almost surely take on the charisma deficient Michelle McCool. This part of the trade had to have been the main reason to make this trade. Melina has no crowd appeal and has already wrestled McCool too many times since the draft. Mickie’s crowd appeal may be able to stop the black hole of charisma and make for an interesting Women’s match on Smackdown. I’m taking bets on how many times Todd Grisham and J.R. mention that these two ladies are the first two Divas to win both the Diva’s Title and the WWE Women’s Title at our forum. Beth Phoenix is also going to Smackdown which sucks some since she has had an on and off feud with Mickie for what seems like years. If they turn her babyface, which doesn’t seem likely after last night’s Raw, she could get some new gusto behind her. It is a fresh start for her though so I’m a bit hopeful that the Glamazon can get back on track.

To ECW: Rosa Mendes is quite attractive but she hasn’t been given much of a chance in the ring or as a valet for Carlito. Her feud pool is limited to Katie Lee Burchill so she needs to be attached to someone and my choice would be…um, I hope the Superstar Initiative kicks in because this list of choices sucks. Welcome to the land of “Future Endeavors” Rosa! – Kevin

Attention Whore Update Part II

I know you missed me like my team on Survivor.

In the Tweet heard ’round the ‘net or just in Ashley Massaro’s tiny brain and audience, including to our source Prowrestling.net, we were supposed to know that she was going to return to the WWE by Summerslam.  From her Myspace page –

“Now, as much as I’d love to say that it is true, it’s not. Because it ain’t me, folks. Like i’ve said I have no other [accounts] like that! I’m currently working on something that you will be able to view very shortly but I’m under contract and can not return to WWE just yet. So, hopefully it won’t be long. Last time I spoke with Johnny Ace [WWE vice president John Laurinaitis] he said to come down to a taping so I’m gonna do that asap.”

Her grammar skills wouldn’t get her a passing grade in her imaginary child’s first grade class. Hot damn. Anyway, thankfully we’re spared of having to see this twig with ginormous fake knockers for at least the foreseeable future. She’s tied up in something that she can’t talk about because Ashley is probably still trying to cut ties with her clients from the escort service. – Kevin

It Doesn’t Matter What You Think!

I'm taking my title belt and heading over to that show to cry!

Melina, according to this story on Prowrestling.net,  is complaining about being shipped to Smackdown! because of the draft. Evidently she’s the only person in the arena that missed the deafening silence of the live crowd during her title reign on Raw. Look you dumb horse mouthed nothing, the WWE doesn’t care about the women’s division now that they can’t exploit your assets properly because of their stupid ass PG rating.

The WWE is doing you a favor by sending you to a show that has been building up a good babyface in Gail Kim. You’re terrible at being one.  If the WWE has half a brain, they’ll turn you back heel which suits your bitchy backstage personality and let you feud with Kim and you’ll actually have a career instead of playing third fiddle to Mickie James and Beth Phoenix on Raw. – Kevin

WrestleMania Preview Begins

It’s a celebration damnit!

Alright gang, Kevin and Jeremy got some juice in their system and are going over dedicating a small audio show for each WrestleMania 25 match. They are only fifteen minutes so listen on your lunch break and then come back tonight for yet another. We’ll be posting two a day until we catch up to Sunday. Consider this the kick off to our never-ending coverage of WrestleMania 25 since we feel guilty about not going this year. See, our guilt is now your benefit.  On top of that you’ll find a nice morsel from Eric, Dusty and Jordan covering the five best and worst WresleManias as voted on by you, the Stunt Granny fans. On top of all that we’ll still be covering all the big stories and proceed to make fun of them. So don’t fret, there will be plenty to enjoy here on Stuntgranny.com. -Jeremy

WrestleMania Audio #1