Stunt Granny Audio #214

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Jeremy just wanted to shoot the shit. Kevin decided that investigate that notion by wondering how you could skeet shoot poo. How exactly is he planning on making sure the poo doesn’t spread when it gets shot? This reminds both of them of the famous scene in Airplane! when the shit hits the fan. They move on to talking about deep sea giant squid and Jeremy’s terrible DVR skills.  Jeremy and Kevin finally get around to talking about Raw. How did the WWE manage to start laying the ground work for three matches at Wrestlemania but yet still have a boring show? Did Paul Heyman spice it up? Maybe Vince McMahon? Why does the WWE continue to make Brock Lesnar look like a bad guy even though the crowd cheers him every time he comes out? They stopped doing it with Chris Jericho who seems destined to battle Dolph Ziggler. They will have a good match but is that enough? Is anyone looking forward to Rock vs John Cena II? Will CM Punk put a monkey wrench into those plans if the Undertaker is injured? The guys wrap up by talking about Jeremy not ordering Wrestlemania. Will a good build up get him to order it? Find out when you click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #214

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Hulk Hogan + Brooke Hogan = Perv Twitter Responses

BrookesLegs

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan got in trouble by the Twitter-verse for sending out this picture of his daughter that was labeled “Brooke’s legs”. For some reason, the Hulkster didn’t think this image would invoke the picture of him rubbing oil on his daughter’s ass or responses of him being a pervert on Twitter. The Hulkster has taken a break from Twitter after two days of being beaten up about it. For a change, I agree with Hulk that this isn’t creepy. Is it stupid? You better believe it. Brooke has great legs. It’s just too bad she has a man’s chin and face. Aside from that minor problem, she’s all woman.

As an added bonus, I found this picture of a t shirt for his new restaurant, Hogan’s Beach.

HogansBeach

It’s a fun t shirt that has more thought in it than any shirt currently on WWEShop or ShopTNA currently. I can’t delve into the meaning of this shirt because it’s standard design work. Glory Day Hulk Hogan? Check. Riding a shark because he’s so bad ass? Check. Beach? Whoops. I guess it’ll be at the end of the water they’re showing. I hope the shark doesn’t beach itself or Hogan might have PETA to answer to on Twitter instead of a bunch of creepy Twitter trolls. -Kevin

Evil Dead was given a NC-17 rating; fitting

Apparently they still dole out the NC-17 rating here in the states and the Evil Dead remake just scored it after the MPAAs initial judgment. The film’s director, Fede Alvarez, went to Twitter and seemed pretty happy about it as he should be. After seeing the initial trailer he has removed the cheese and went for the over the top gore and fright factor. It works in every way and he should be proud of it.

Fede Alvarez @fedalvar

@WoozyTribe Was proud of scoring a NC17 when submitted! But we had to cut stuff out to get an R and get the film into theaters.

Of course he had to make a cut of the film so that it achieved an R rating here so that as many people as possible can see it in theatres. Like the 13 year-old shit head middle school kids that you immediately hate as soon as you see them walking in to the theatre.  -J

The Walking Hines Ward

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Picture from Getty & AMC

Hines Ward was forced into retirement by the Pittsburgh Steelers before this past season. Well, not officially really but seriously? Come on. (Should I put a Super Bowl reference in here just to get some extra hits?) That hasn’t kept him from getting his Cheshire Cat grin more TV time. First it was NBC to do football commentary and then it was on to Rachel vs Guy: Celebrity Cook Off. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, he’s going to be a zombie on the second half of season three of The Walking Dead. How did he get this part? Let’s use Ward’s own words?

A former Georgia teammate of mine is one of the stars of the show, and my agent thought it would be something fun and different for me to do

Who is this star you might ask? It’s T-Dog who is famous for, um, well, being a black man and making it to season three of a show that kills off regular characters at a high frequency. They won’t get to act together since The Walking Dead has an unofficial rule where you can only have one black guy at a time so T-Dog got killed off in the first half of season 3. Tyresse will be taking over the reigns in the black character department. I wonder if Hines will get to eat his brains for taking over his friend’s spot? -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio: 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

Jesus Christ; such predictable bullshit.

Jesus Christ; such predictable bullshit.

Well, we did a preview show so we may as well do a review show right? So, here it is. Jeremy and Kevin talk the Royal Rumble in all its glory and warts. Was there really any doubt as to the outcomes of the Royal Rumble and the WWE Title match? Who just discovered “a Goldust?”  Who surprised in the Rumble match? Have Kane and Daniel Bryan lost their touch? Is the WWE turning in to ROH? Was this PPV or any for that matter worth the price? All of these questions are answered and a whole lot more. Oh yeah, they also discuss the winner of the Royal Rumble contest and laugh at who had the worst draw of all those who played. So get to downloading.

Stunt Granny Audio Show- 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

10lbsofCat5lbbag

I’m trying to do too much these days. I’m thinking this review will be more half assed than normal. Time to speed thru this puppy.

Randy Orton is fighting Antonio Cesaro. I’m thinking Orton is the new main event guy who puts new talent over. CM Punk comes out irate as he should be. He’s ready to do some party crashing. I remember the days. I have no idea why Vince McMahon can fire Paul Heyman. I’m glad the Miz is the hook for the match. Ugh. Of course even after the commercial break, nothing happens before the commercial break that follows the “beginning” of the match. It wasn’t worth starting a new paragraph.

I’m not even paying attention to the match. Uh oh, ref touching. The Miz allows Orton to hit the RKO. They’re staying the predictable course. The Miz gets to rub it in. I’m “loving” that Mitchell Cool is still on the Miz band wagon. Ryback needs to make us laugh. Stupid.

Even better, Matt Striker is hosting. The Prime Time Players get to be in this show down. Ryback’s joke is appropriate. I still don’t like his finisher. People are loving him though. Matt Striker deserved it. JBL is awesome for laughing at him. That woman in the front row, corner of the entrance is something else.

Wade Barrett gets to choose his opponent. Boy, I wonder why Bo Dallas eliminated him last night? Bo Dallas wins. I’m surprised. That seems pretty weak man. I’m all for the surprise win but it needs to look more flukey than that. John Cena is Cody Rhodes next match.

Cena is on Fruity Pebbles. Thank you Rock. Lawler is still talking about Goldust from last night. Cody Rhodes is leaving. The match was the right length. Cena with an AA. He gets to gab after the match. Cena tries to play the underdog card. He’s coming with an answer though. Of course he’s choosing the Rock or CM Punk. The Shield shows up. JBL calling the stupid card as he should be. Sheamus finally gets off his lazy ass. Ryback makes the real save. Are they actually putting over the Shield? The good guys still look like a bunch of idiots.

Tensai vs Brodus Clay in a lingerie pillow fight match. Thank goodness they begged off. I won’t be watching the Dance Off.

Oh jimminy cricket, Tensai still wore the lingerie. Poor Tensai. I’m laughing at him though. I’d love to see Brodus do a split. My girl likes his top. Clay teaches him to dance. I need more alcohol. Ron Simmons is still awesome. I’m guessing without watching that Alberto Del Rio is in a body slam match with the Big Show.

This is predictable shit. Wow, Big Show freaking out is not predictable. Maybe it shouldn’t be. They’re trying to make Del Rio more of a babyface. Ricardo’s tattoos are all terrible. He needs to get that shit covered up. The crowd isn’t buying it either. I’m enjoying Big Show toying with him.

Kaitlyn is moved into a match with Tamina. This is stupid. Oh, it’s lumber jills with show girl outfits. I like Kaitlyn’s outfit better. Her fashion has been questionable. Cat fight. Woof. Kaitlyn and Tamina stare at each other, kind of. Woof.

The Rock gets his time. Last segment before I deliver the girl back to her abode. Car repairs are a bitch. Thank you CM Punk. The manhood question is always available. I love Punk granting Rock a rematch. Rock’s got no answer on the mic really. The crowd is crushing him though.

Sheamus and Damien Sandow are in some type of a match. I heard it before I left. I don’t care. Ahh, tables match. Thanks for solving that one quickly. I’m glad Sandow is getting in more offense than Rhodes. I like the White Noise thru the table for the win. Figured it’d be a Brogue Kick.

I’m going to FF thru the Great Khali doing karaoke. 3MB makes it interesting. I’m glad Mitchell Cool is apologizing to the WWE Universe as he should be. I feel bad for Zack Ryder. Not sure I can type that enough times. He comes up with a fun character and he gets shit on. He doesn’t even get Heath Slater level TV exposure.

Raw is still Chris Jericho. Dolph Ziggler gets to respond to Jericho who paraded thru his baby face catch phrases. Dog peeing joke. Where’s Steph when you need to poop it up? Vickie Guerrero is back to being a baby face since Dolph is involved. They get to team together against Team Hell No. Kane & Daniel Bryan make it down before a commercial. Kane choke slams Ziggler after a cheap Jericho trick. At least it wasn’t as tedious as most of them. Trish Stratus is a deserving Hall of Fame member. I remember thinking she wasn’t going to be more than arm candy. She showed me way wrong. Hey  Miz, look at her ascent and get out of your rut.

trish stratus yoga.jpg_thumb

Paul Heyman gets to answer to Vince McMahon for the main event. I’m not going to like this. The camera man is a snitch. The godfather moment is kind of funny. Brock Lesnar wakes me up from my coma. OK, good reason for this to be in the main event. I love him just pointing at Heyman. F5. HHH vs Brock is confirmed on TV. -Kevin

Fat guy is upset CM Punk lost

Big thanks to Travis from The East Coast Audio for posting this on a message board or I would have never seen this. This contains every wrestling fan stereotype possible. I have listed a few but feel free to add your own in the comments.

1:  Fat guy.

2:  Title belt.

3:  Unkempt.

4:  Apartment living but could be confused for a basement.

5:  Room full of toys and dvds. Although to his credit there seemed to be Blu-rays as well.

6: Irrational anger towards a product he understands to be fictional.

My favorite part of this entire video is him slamming his title belt to the ground.  Whoever shot this, supposedly his girlfriend but then come on, had the angle just right so that it was hidden from view. Up until the reveal I kept saying over and over to myself “Please be holding a title belt. Please be holding a title belt. Please be holding a title belt.” So when the belt went a flying it just felt so good. It was a sort of vindication really. I was vindicated in my stereotypes of internet fans. That my predetermined notion of this thing standing in a room with his title belt held snug with his CM Punk shirt stretched to its limits was exactly as I pictured. Oh such sweet vindication.

On a side note, this video also shows the evil of women. Bitch knew he was upset and just insisted on  provoking him. It is typical womanly behavior really. Let the man suffer in peace ho. -J

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