Stunt Granny Audio #214

Jeremy just wanted to shoot the shit. Kevin decided that investigate that notion by wondering how you could skeet shoot poo. How exactly is he planning on making sure the poo doesn’t spread when it gets shot? This reminds both of them of the famous scene in Airplane! when the shit hits the fan. They move on to talking about deep sea giant squid and Jeremy’s terrible DVR skills.  Jeremy and Kevin finally get around to talking about Raw. How did the WWE manage to start laying the ground work for three matches at Wrestlemania but yet still have a boring show? Did Paul Heyman spice it up? Maybe Vince McMahon? Why does the WWE continue to make Brock Lesnar look like a bad guy even though the crowd cheers him every time he comes out? They stopped doing it with Chris Jericho who seems destined to battle Dolph Ziggler. They will have a good match but is that enough? Is anyone looking forward to Rock vs John Cena II? Will CM Punk put a monkey wrench into those plans if the Undertaker is injured? The guys wrap up by talking about Jeremy not ordering Wrestlemania. Will a good build up get him to order it? Find out when you click the link below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show #214

Hulk Hogan + Brooke Hogan = Perv Twitter Responses

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan got in trouble by the Twitter-verse for sending out this picture of his daughter that was labeled “Brooke’s legs”. For some reason, the Hulkster didn’t think this image would invoke the picture of him rubbing oil on his daughter’s ass or responses of him being a pervert on Twitter. The Hulkster has taken a break from Twitter after two days of being beaten up about it. For a change, I agree with Hulk that this isn’t creepy. Is it stupid? You better believe it. Brooke has great legs. It’s just too bad she has a man’s chin and face. Aside from that minor problem, she’s all woman.

As an added bonus, I found this picture of a t shirt for his new restaurant, Hogan’s Beach.

It’s a fun t shirt that has more thought in it than any shirt currently on WWEShop or ShopTNA currently. I can’t delve into the meaning of this shirt because it’s standard design work. Glory Day Hulk Hogan? Check. Riding a shark because he’s so bad ass? Check. Beach? Whoops. I guess it’ll be at the end of the water they’re showing. I hope the shark doesn’t beach itself or Hogan might have PETA to answer to on Twitter instead of a bunch of creepy Twitter trolls. -Kevin

Evil Dead was given a NC-17 rating; fitting

Apparently they still dole out the NC-17 rating here in the states and the Evil Dead remake just scored it after the MPAAs initial judgment. The film’s director, Fede Alvarez, went to Twitter and seemed pretty happy about it as he should be. After seeing the initial trailer he has removed the cheese and went for the over the top gore and fright factor. It works in every way and he should be proud of it.

Fede Alvarez ‏@fedalvar

@WoozyTribe Was proud of scoring a NC17 when submitted! But we had to cut stuff out to get an R and get the film into theaters.

Of course he had to make a cut of the film so that it achieved an R rating here so that as many people as possible can see it in theatres. Like the 13 year-old shit head middle school kids that you immediately hate as soon as you see them walking in to the theatre.  -J

The Walking Hines Ward

Picture from Getty & AMC

Hines Ward was forced into retirement by the Pittsburgh Steelers before this past season. Well, not officially really but seriously? Come on. (Should I put a Super Bowl reference in here just to get some extra hits?) That hasn’t kept him from getting his Cheshire Cat grin more TV time. First it was NBC to do football commentary and then it was on to Rachel vs Guy: Celebrity Cook Off. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, he’s going to be a zombie on the second half of season three of The Walking Dead. How did he get this part? Let’s use Ward’s own words?

A former Georgia teammate of mine is one of the stars of the show, and my agent thought it would be something fun and different for me to do

Who is this star you might ask? It’s T-Dog who is famous for, um, well, being a black man and making it to season three of a show that kills off regular characters at a high frequency. They won’t get to act together since The Walking Dead has an unofficial rule where you can only have one black guy at a time so T-Dog got killed off in the first half of season 3. Tyresse will be taking over the reigns in the black character department. I wonder if Hines will get to eat his brains for taking over his friend’s spot? -Kevin

Stunt Granny Audio: 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

Jesus Christ; such predictable bullshit.

Well, we did a preview show so we may as well do a review show right? So, here it is. Jeremy and Kevin talk the Royal Rumble in all its glory and warts. Was there really any doubt as to the outcomes of the Royal Rumble and the WWE Title match? Who just discovered “a Goldust?”  Who surprised in the Rumble match? Have Kane and Daniel Bryan lost their touch? Is the WWE turning in to ROH? Was this PPV or any for that matter worth the price? All of these questions are answered and a whole lot more. Oh yeah, they also discuss the winner of the Royal Rumble contest and laugh at who had the worst draw of all those who played. So get to downloading.

Stunt Granny Audio Show- 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Review

Kevin’s Blog: Almost Live, Definitely Half Assed Review of @WWE #Raw

I’m trying to do too much these days. I’m thinking this review will be more half assed than normal. Time to speed thru this puppy.

Randy Orton is fighting Antonio Cesaro. I’m thinking Orton is the new main event guy who puts new talent over. CM Punk comes out irate as he should be. He’s ready to do some party crashing. I remember the days. I have no idea why Vince McMahon can fire Paul Heyman. I’m glad the Miz is the hook for the match. Ugh. Of course even after the commercial break, nothing happens before the commercial break that follows the “beginning” of the match. It wasn’t worth starting a new paragraph.

I’m not even paying attention to the match. Uh oh, ref touching. The Miz allows Orton to hit the RKO. They’re staying the predictable course. The Miz gets to rub it in. I’m “loving” that Mitchell Cool is still on the Miz band wagon. Ryback needs to make us laugh. Stupid.

Even better, Matt Striker is hosting. The Prime Time Players get to be in this show down. Ryback’s joke is appropriate. I still don’t like his finisher. People are loving him though. Matt Striker deserved it. JBL is awesome for laughing at him. That woman in the front row, corner of the entrance is something else.

Wade Barrett gets to choose his opponent. Boy, I wonder why Bo Dallas eliminated him last night? Bo Dallas wins. I’m surprised. That seems pretty weak man. I’m all for the surprise win but it needs to look more flukey than that. John Cena is Cody Rhodes next match.

Cena is on Fruity Pebbles. Thank you Rock. Lawler is still talking about Goldust from last night. Cody Rhodes is leaving. The match was the right length. Cena with an AA. He gets to gab after the match. Cena tries to play the underdog card. He’s coming with an answer though. Of course he’s choosing the Rock or CM Punk. The Shield shows up. JBL calling the stupid card as he should be. Sheamus finally gets off his lazy ass. Ryback makes the real save. Are they actually putting over the Shield? The good guys still look like a bunch of idiots.

Tensai vs Brodus Clay in a lingerie pillow fight match. Thank goodness they begged off. I won’t be watching the Dance Off.

Oh jimminy cricket, Tensai still wore the lingerie. Poor Tensai. I’m laughing at him though. I’d love to see Brodus do a split. My girl likes his top. Clay teaches him to dance. I need more alcohol. Ron Simmons is still awesome. I’m guessing without watching that Alberto Del Rio is in a body slam match with the Big Show.

This is predictable shit. Wow, Big Show freaking out is not predictable. Maybe it shouldn’t be. They’re trying to make Del Rio more of a babyface. Ricardo’s tattoos are all terrible. He needs to get that shit covered up. The crowd isn’t buying it either. I’m enjoying Big Show toying with him.

Kaitlyn is moved into a match with Tamina. This is stupid. Oh, it’s lumber jills with show girl outfits. I like Kaitlyn’s outfit better. Her fashion has been questionable. Cat fight. Woof. Kaitlyn and Tamina stare at each other, kind of. Woof.

The Rock gets his time. Last segment before I deliver the girl back to her abode. Car repairs are a bitch. Thank you CM Punk. The manhood question is always available. I love Punk granting Rock a rematch. Rock’s got no answer on the mic really. The crowd is crushing him though.

Sheamus and Damien Sandow are in some type of a match. I heard it before I left. I don’t care. Ahh, tables match. Thanks for solving that one quickly. I’m glad Sandow is getting in more offense than Rhodes. I like the White Noise thru the table for the win. Figured it’d be a Brogue Kick.

I’m going to FF thru the Great Khali doing karaoke. 3MB makes it interesting. I’m glad Mitchell Cool is apologizing to the WWE Universe as he should be. I feel bad for Zack Ryder. Not sure I can type that enough times. He comes up with a fun character and he gets shit on. He doesn’t even get Heath Slater level TV exposure.

Raw is still Chris Jericho. Dolph Ziggler gets to respond to Jericho who paraded thru his baby face catch phrases. Dog peeing joke. Where’s Steph when you need to poop it up? Vickie Guerrero is back to being a baby face since Dolph is involved. They get to team together against Team Hell No. Kane & Daniel Bryan make it down before a commercial. Kane choke slams Ziggler after a cheap Jericho trick. At least it wasn’t as tedious as most of them. Trish Stratus is a deserving Hall of Fame member. I remember thinking she wasn’t going to be more than arm candy. She showed me way wrong. Hey  Miz, look at her ascent and get out of your rut.

Paul Heyman gets to answer to Vince McMahon for the main event. I’m not going to like this. The camera man is a snitch. The godfather moment is kind of funny. Brock Lesnar wakes me up from my coma. OK, good reason for this to be in the main event. I love him just pointing at Heyman. F5. HHH vs Brock is confirmed on TV. -Kevin

Fat guy is upset CM Punk lost

Big thanks to Travis from The East Coast Audio for posting this on a message board or I would have never seen this. This contains every wrestling fan stereotype possible. I have listed a few but feel free to add your own in the comments.

1:  Fat guy.

2:  Title belt.

3:  Unkempt.

4:  Apartment living but could be confused for a basement.

5:  Room full of toys and dvds. Although to his credit there seemed to be Blu-rays as well.

6: Irrational anger towards a product he understands to be fictional.

My favorite part of this entire video is him slamming his title belt to the ground.  Whoever shot this, supposedly his girlfriend but then come on, had the angle just right so that it was hidden from view. Up until the reveal I kept saying over and over to myself “Please be holding a title belt. Please be holding a title belt. Please be holding a title belt.” So when the belt went a flying it just felt so good. It was a sort of vindication really. I was vindicated in my stereotypes of internet fans. That my predetermined notion of this thing standing in a room with his title belt held snug with his CM Punk shirt stretched to its limits was exactly as I pictured. Oh such sweet vindication.

On a side note, this video also shows the evil of women. Bitch knew he was upset and just insisted on  provoking him. It is typical womanly behavior really. Let the man suffer in peace ho. -J

Stunt Granny Conversation: Jeremy & Kevin 1/24/2013 American Horror Story Finale

Jeremy:  What I find funny is that the finale was the least insane episode of the season in total contrast to the entire run.

Kevin: That is very true.  Although it took me a while to catch onto the theme with the weird Kitt beginning.

Jeremy:  At least this season it seemed like they realized they needed an actual ending.

Kevin: I had a question about the very end, did Lana bargain her way into Briarcliff?

Jeremy: Ok that was one part of the episode I did not understand. It seemed to me that Jude was just warning her.  Now that you mention that I am not sure. It wouldn’t make sense with what she but her through.

Kevin: That’s what I was thinking but wanted to rewatch that part. The rest of the show followed well and didn’t have much of a question.

Jeremy: Seemed like they remembered to give everyone their due and they did it effectively. Poor Kitt couldn’t catch a break though.

Kevin:Not even one.  Was he abducted by aliens too?

Jeremy: At the end for sure. They took him back. I suppose since he was special but damn. No luck at all.

Kevin: Not even a bit. Aside from banging out two chicks

Jeremy: He became sympathetic which was a nice touch from the angry wreck he was at the beginning. Yeah and he should have tried pulling out.  I was just fond of this season finale for the closure. One thing I did find odd was the focus on Lana since Jude seemed to be the main character all season.

Kevin: The closure thing was big. I don’t mind an open ending so long as it makes you think. Last year’s didn’t make you do that. It was different having survivors that could tell a story.  Jude was pretty heavy in the episode.

Jeremy:  Yeah they gave her a proper sendoff. Finding peace finally. Pretty much everything got tied up. Was I the only one hoping for another dance number when Jude died?

Kevin: They did have that very heavenly one earlier in the season. Something like that again would have been appropriate but maybe over kill with her teaching Kitt & the kids how to dance.

Jeremy: Man, you just brought up some lost opportunity there. Of course not having a pinhead nor patients drooling and slapping themselves in the background would have lessened the effect.

Kevin: The patients participating in the earlier dance made that one very weird. They could have set it in hell to make it real freaky.

Jeremy: The Aliens could have finally appeared and broke out the top hats and canes. “Hello my baby. Hello my honey.”

Kevin: That would have been whipped cream with a cherry on top. It’d be more fun to bring in the alien from Aliens instead of the standard egghead aliens Grace was drawing. Whoever did those drawings was excellent. I don’t have shit on them.

Jeremy: Speaking of Grace, boy that girl had a rough time too. No one got out clean. She gets killed, impregnated and resuscitated then axed. Her pregnancy had a gestation time of five minutes for the birth.

Kevin: That was very day time soap level of impregnation. The whole thing had a weird time line actually. They never said much in that department.  Pepper had been dead 2 1/2 years before Kitt saved Jude?

Jeremy: When a fetus is inserted by an alien race is there an established timeline? Yeah poor Pepper.

Kevin: There is no timeline for alien babies.

Jeremy: I have seen Prometheus and that statement is correct. Beautiful stupid movie.

Kevin: We caught that one recently and that is a good summation of it. Love the HR Giger art.

Jeremy: Well yeah, Imagine if a Predator and an Alien show up to take Kitt and have to duke it out while ET just masturbated watching. Then Kitt just falls dead of cancer.

Kevin: ET could at least jerk Kitt off before he dies of cancer.  Maybe it’d cure the cancer at the same time

Jeremy: So are you trying to say ET spooge can cure cancer?

Kevin: His finger could do some powerful stuff. I figure his spooge is like a cure all salve.

Jeremy: Is this the right time to bring up the Cardinal committing suicide? Or should we bring up the fact that Bloodyface Jr. was a giant pussy?

Kevin: That’s two big questions. The first is the fantasy of a writer who was molested by a priest as a child, in my opinion. Not sure why Bloodyface Jr. was such a pussy. His mom was a hard ass and so was his dad.

Jeremy: He gets all whiny at the mention of his mommy. Then he wants to live up to his dad. Pussbag. All of this after lopping off Adam Levine’s arm with a cleaver? Unless it was the revelation that Lana didn’t care about him outside of that one time.

Kevin: The guy wanted breast milk at the age of 48 so he was not exactly on stable ground

Jeremy: I always differ to titties.  I suppose I had this idea of him being legit crazy as in genetic and instead he was looking for mom and dad’s affections ya know.

Kevin: Which is a nice twist. But yeah, the expectations were different for sure on his character

Jeremy: If it was Hayden Christensen I would have had an easier time with it.  Kind of wish Jr. would have put the mask on before she shot him. Just for the visual.

Kevin:  That would have been very cool.

Jeremy:  Yeah and round out the show.

Kevin: Trying to think if there was anything else in those last two episodes. Would it have been too much to ask for the real version of the Angel of Death be the house keeper Dylan McDermott saw last season?

Jeremy: Yeah no shit.  All the sex in this show and the single hottest chick in the history of this program wasn’t back on? I did appreciate the Angel of Death as a lesbian convict though.

Kevin: Yeah, she does a great job as a creepy woman.

Jeremy: I was just happy the show didn’t end with everyone smiling. It at least showed they had an end  in mind this time around.

Kevin: That would have been worse than last year. The depressing end with everyone seemingly finding some solace in their lives was a good ending.

Stunt Granny Audio: 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Preview

It’s time to RRRRUMMMBLLLLLLLEEEE!

It’s another edition of Stunt Granny Audio, this time with Kevin and Eric previewing the upcoming 2013 WWE Royal Rumble. Who is the likely winner of the big Rumble match? Who are the dark horses? How will 2013 compare to classics of the past (1992, 2001) and hot garbage of our nightmares (1995, 2009)? What about the singles matches? Who doesn’t stand at the end of the Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio Last Man Standing match? Who interferes instead of the Shield in the Rock vs. CM Punk match? And which one-time burn victim will have the least facial hair when Kane & Daniel Bryan take on Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow? Will anyone watch the Miz vs. Antonio Cesaro pre-show match? What about favorite memories from Rumbles past? Favorite surprise entrants? The answers may… SURPRISE you! All this and not much more just by clicking below!

Stunt Granny Audio Show- 2013 WWE Royal Rumble Preview

#PrimeWrestling – Season 6 – Episode 9

For some reason, this episode is not on YouTube yet. It’s been more than a week. They usually post it the Tuesday after it airs. Oh well, I’ll replace that picture as soon as I see it posted.

Kirst comes out dressed like Hobo Joe again. He is accompanied by Krimson. Matt Cross was his opponent. Kirst jumped him while he played to the crowd. Cross arm dragged him a couple of times. Cross low bridged Kirst. He followed it with a suicide dive. Kirst turned around an Irish Whip to toss Cross into the guard rail. Kirst attacked him with the collection can while Krimson distracted the ref. Cross back dropped Kirst over the guard rail. They got back into the ring. Kirst ducked Cross and nailed a clothesline. Cross tossed Kirst into the air and flap jacked him. Kirst kicked out at two. Kirst choked Cross on the middle rope. Standing moonsault by Cross was followed with a pin. Kirst tossed Cross into the corner. Kirst dropped a leg. Kirst wasted time mocking Hobo Joe. Cross caught him with a reverse atomic drop. Cross got two after a cross body. Cross gave Kirst the Mortal Combat corner kicks. Kirst suplexed Cross. Kirst went to the top but Cross caught him. Cross went for the Shooting Star Press but Kirst rocked the ropes. Kirst went for a superplex. Cross tossed him away and nailed the SSP for the win. Kirst attacked Cross. Gregory Iron made the save. Ricky Shane Page, Marion Fontaine and Jeremy Madrox attacked. Vic Travagliante was directing traffic.

Analysis: Good match. It did way more for Kirst than any other match. I understand the attack on Cross but it did take away some from Kirst’s showing. Score: +1.

They replaced Gregory Iron being hurt by Kirst last year. Krimson said that every absurdity has a title to defend. Krimson said that Johnny Gargano and Rhino think they have what it takes to stop the Dead Wrestling Society. Krimson said that Gargano doesn’t have it in him. Analysis: Another good promo from this guy. This guy has been awesome. I need the You Tube just to show this promo. Score: +1.

Korey comes out and introduces Michael “The Bomber” Facade. He injured himself in a taping for Extreme Rising pay per view so he can’t wrestle right now. The injury isn’t serious. Facade said he’ll be back in a month. Bobby Shields came out and claimed the Facade was faking it. Shields said that injury wasn’t as traumatizing as it was for him to lose his hair. He lost his identity and dignity. Facade said he wrestled on two broken bones in his foot. Shields stomped on the foot then gave him a thrust kick. Shields attacked the foot with a chair. Shields said that his title reign is just a facade. Shields said the logic belongs to him. Shields said Facade’s read locks were an embarrassment. Shields attacked his ankle with Facade’s cane again. Analysis: Good stuff from Shields. Facade was okay. Korey just seems over eager. Kind of like his day job calls for. I don’t particularly like it. People obviously do. Score: +1.