WWE To Sign Two Fresh Faces To Developmental Deals?

From Logopond.com by cspainey

From Logopond.com by cspainey

On Monday according to Prowrestling.net, the WWE was expected to sign Kevin Steen and Willie Mack to developmental contracts. It’s Thursday and nothing has been made official yet. So that gives me the time to remind everyone that the last time two ROH stars were jumping to the WWE because of a nondescript video from England, they went to TNA so that Davey Richards & Eddie Edwards could wear bad cow skin & wolf hair coats. That leaves TNA time to swoop in and sign Steen & Mack.

If that does happen, the story line will be Dixie Carter signed Steen under MVP’s nose so that she can rid herself of her Bully Ray problem. Steen will then get to fight Abyss for the TV Title completely ignoring Dixie Carter’s plan to become a baby face by supporting Eric Young for a reason that will never be mentioned on TV. Since TNA or the talents they hire can’t come up with new gimmicks Fight Steen Fight will be shortened to Fight Steen.

MVP will then hire Willie Mack because we all know that “those people” stick together. Along with Bobby Lashley and Kenny King, they’ll become the Republic of Reign. Or the Country of Supremacy. Or the Dominion of Domination. Or Association of Power. They will reign supreme over TNA until Rockstar Spud turns on Dixie Carter and becomes part of the group. He will break Jesse Sorensen’s neck again (who was re-hired by Dixie Carter too) and eventually leave the group. Willie Mack will end up turning on MVP after the crowd starts to support his new catch phrase “If Inhale The Odors from Mack’s Kitchen!” – Kevin

News You Can Use: Kurt Angle, Mick Foley and the WWE

What should I take?

A young Kurt Angle has his first encounter with his biggest life long nemesis.

Kurt Angle is in the news because in the UK Sun, he expressed the idea of coming back to the WWE. Per the article

And he revealed how his future could well rest with the WWE due to “unfinished business” from his previous run with Vince McMahon’s company.

If Kurt Angle truly has unfinished business, I hope he quit his side business that WWE helped him with by tossing him into rehab last year. For his sake, I hope all is well but that isn’t very funny. What could also be serious is a short WWE run to finish things up. He’s the same age as Batista so the WWE may not care whether it’s asthma or a pill that is causing your shortness of breath five minutes into a match.

Mick Foley is in the news (Prowrestling.net that is) because he now has a comedy special on AXS TV which will air on February 6th. I had no idea what the station was until it was revealed to be the re-branded HD Net. So I don’t get the station so I will not be watching it. I’ve seen his show. Jeremy has seen his show. We both enjoyed it so I’m sure it’ll be a good show. Too bad his comedy instincts didn’t help make his pay off video for being so mad at the WWE  for not giving the him a slot in the Royal Rumble and a chance at the title at Wrestlemania. We all know you’re a famous tight wad, but to make it more dramatic can you break more than a 32″ TV that goes for $200?

– I’m mildly annoyed that the WWE has decided to skip Columbus for a taping these past two weeks. They did come on a Sunday for a house show but those don’t count. It’s the first time in the last several years that we haven’t gotten a show on the road to Wrestlemania. The WWE instead went to Dayton’s Nutter Center last Monday (January 20th) for Raw which seats 11,500 people. Last night (January 28th), they recorded Smackdown in Toledo at the Huntington Center which seats 9,341. I have no idea why they’d want to record at either of those locations considering that Nationwide Arena here in Columbus seats 19,500. The WWE has a conspiracy against Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and now Columbus. This time it’s a conspiracy of why the WWE didn’t want more money and a better crowd for a TV show. – Kevin

@WWE Children’s Book Ideas

50th-birthday-cakeIt was announced that the WWE has signed a deal with DK Publishing to produce eighteen books over the next three years. According to MarketWatch.com

two upcoming commemorative books WWE 50: Celebrating 50 Years of Sports Entertainment, which chronicles the company’s 50 year history and 30 Years of WrestleMania, the ultimate guide to WWE’s annual pop-culture extravaganza. DK will also publish new line of children’s books focusing on the careers of John Cena, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and other top WWE Superstars.

Both of the commemorative books sound pretty damn cool. I’m sure you will have seen some of that information before but they always seem to turn up a little something more every time. The eye catching part to me though is the line of children’s books. They mention that John Cena and “The Rock” will get books but we don’t know their titles. May I suggest:

Dwayne The Rock: Too Cool For School – How One Superstar actually got out of the Biz. Inspiration here.

John The Bachelor: John’s Big Bachelor Pad (My First Bella Twin Experience). Inspiration here.

That also means that there will be fourteen other books. Let’s see if I can guess the other fourteen titles:

Daniel Hears a YES! by Dr. Bryan. Inspiration here.

Diary of a KSU Grad: Kick To The Head – The Story of Dolph Ziggler. Inspiration here.

Roderick Rules: The Story of a Company the WWE Won’t Acknowledge. Inspiration Here.

Jake & Scott: No News Is Good News Because That Means We Haven’t Relapsed. Inspiration here.

Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky I Am For Getting This Many Chances? By Alberto Del Rio. Inspiration here.

AJ Lee Wardrobe Malfunction

She is an odd one. But also hot. From wrestlingnewssource.com.

There Was An Odd Diva Who Got a Tattoo by AJ Lee. Inspiration here.

Rob Van Dam and the Grower’s Stoned. Inspiration here.

Randy Orton and the Chamber Pot of Gym Bags. Inspiration here.

Brie & Nikki’s How To Dress Like a Slutty Princess. Inspiration here.

The Superstars Employment Agency: The Future Endeavored Edition. Inspiration here.

Evan’s Not So Secret Garden. Inspiration here.

The World of Vince McMahon: The Complete When We Were Very Young and Now We Are Sixty-Eight and Trying to Bury Every Hatchet. Inspiration here.

Who do you think some of the other Superstars and titles will be? Put them in the comments below and I’ll make a full post of those ideas.

Weekend Rewind – Ted DiBiase, Batista, Sandman and Oklahoma

trader_after_busy_weekend– Let’s start off the weekend news with two birthday wishes. One for Batista who will be coming back to Raw as a forty-five year old. Ted DiBiase, Sr. turned sixty years old. Congrats on hitting the big Six-0. I can’t wait for Batista to show up on Old School Raw in fifteen years, looks as large as Vince McMahon did at that age and gives the double guns salute to the newest WWE superstar, Ted DiBiase III.

Sandman is set to fight former WBC & WBA Tim Witherspoon for the World Extreme Entertainment Champion. I don’t think there’s going to much entertainment with two fifty plus year olds fighting. I wonder if Sandman will get to use his Singapore cane since it’s “extreme”. I doubt even the use of it would even things up. It’s made even more sad considering that the owner Damon Feldman had previously run the Celebrity Boxing shows. Since this is taking place in Philadelphia, you know the crowd will be ready to chant “You’ve still got it” to both the Sandman and Witherspoon when they don’t get gassed out  after the first minute of action.

Sonjay Dutt shut down the independent Omni Wrestling in Sperry, Oklahoma when him and his opponent Michael Wolf went into the crowd. A representative of the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission stopped it because going into the crowd is a violation of their rules. Good for Oklahoma, they got this one right. TNA doesn’t trust Sonjay Dutt enough to employ him full time so I certainly don’t want him performing maneuvers near me. I’m also sure that Michael Wolf has impeccable in ring skills. Let’s keep it in the ring where you can only do damage to the yourselves and the referee. – Kevin

Thanks to Prowrestling.net for the news as usual.

Weekend Rewind – Jim Ross is Bruce Arians

im_not_retiredJim Ross was all of the weekend news unless you count Ryback deleting Tweets that joked about his possible retirement. Dolph Ziggler can’t remember if that was a good joke. Part one of the Jim Ross news tour is that he is close to signing a deal with Fox Sports. In his own words

Fox provides an amazing platform for creative work and for the many projects that I am working on during the most unretired time of my life. Fox has some potentially, amazing creative ideas for me of which I hope that we get to collaborate on sooner than later.

Jim Ross saying that he’s unretired makes me think back to when Bruce Arians “retired” from the Pittsburgh Steelers. What really happened was Dan Rooney decided to force Arians to retire because they felt he was too close to Ben Roethlisberger. I’m starting to get the feeling that the WWE had a similar feeling. Maybe Ross had the ear off too many people in the talent pool so the WWE had him “retire”. The positive for Bruce Arians was there was another thirty one teams that he could work for. Jim Ross on the other hand had to convince people he could do something other than talk about sports entertainment.

The next piece of Jim Ross news was the fact that he could be doing his one man show “Ringside” in New Orleans during the weekend of Wrestlemania, possibly at the House of Blues. Jason Powell(Click on the first link) was nice enough to look up the fact that the venue only holds 843 people. Whoever is booking for Good Ole’ JR is an idiot. If Ring of Honor can sell out a couple of thousand during this very same weekend, Ross could do a much larger venue. You’re just leaving money on the table. Now I’ve just got to figure out if reporting on the one man show will get us more hits than me trying every beer from every brewery in New Orleans. Choices, choices.

Even though the WWE forced Jim Ross into early “retirement” they still realize that he is a useful asset to have at your beck and call when it comes to making DVDs. The subject that this new DVD will cover is Paul Heyman, which is awesome. That’s the other difference between Bruce Arians and Jim Ross. Even though Ross doesn’t have another option (TNA and ROH aren’t serious options) he can work as a consultant for the WWE. Bruce Arians wasn’t going to be used as a consultant for the new offensive coordinator. So, you may not like Ross for towing the company line even though they forced him into retirement but he’ll be more than happy to take that check they give him to make up for said forced retirement. Kudos to Jim Ross, make money inside and outside the system. – Kevin

@WWE Blasts The Announcement, TNA Had Twins? & More on @HeelZiggler

Breyers Blasts! Birthday Blast Frozen Dairy Dessert– I had no idea what an email blast was until I watched Brooklyn Nine Nine (If you’re not watching, jump on board. Funny stuff.) I then had to confirm this is an actual term which my buddy Ken was familiar with because of his time in a marketing firm. I thought of that when I read this story on Prowrestling.net (Kind of sad I didn’t get the news from the source of origin at the PWTorch – VIP link warning – since they don’t break news) noting that the WWE blew their own announcement about the fruition of the WWE Network by sending out an email blast confirming it. Hopefully some combination of us will be recording right around their 9:30 PM EST announcement time. It’ll be live so it’ll be Internet Blast worthy.

hannah-holly-blossom

Hannah & Holly Blossom announced on their Facebook page that they are no longer with TNA or Ohio Championship Wrestling. I had no idea they were even on the roster or British Bootcamp which has produced the terrible Brad Maddox rip off known as Rockstar Spud. They realized after four years of being in OVW and nine years of wrestling that they weren’t getting the call up from TNA even though they easily could have ripped off the twin gimmick to get heat like the Bellas. Of course they didn’t admit to it but we can all read between the lines. Hannah & Holly did say they’ve had a fantastic time with both OVW & TNA so that they can keep the door open if TNA gets Spike TV to start airing Complete Knockouts.

– My boy Dolph Ziggler will be headed to the Pittsburgh to have his cranium looked at by a neuropsychologist, more than likely Dr. Maroon. Reports are surfacing that Ryback is getting heat for what he did from this match and working stiff & recklessly in other matches. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we’ve found the new Bob Holly. I can’t wait for Ryback to be repackaged as Ryan “Radiator” Reeves. He’ll cool you off! – Kevin

Weekend Rewind – Jim Ross, Impact Wrestling on Tour, AJ Styles and More

what_goes_on_tour– I am kindly requesting that anyone using Twitter stop asking Jim Ross if he’s going to be at “Insert WWE Event Here” in this case Old School Raw. The WWE doesn’t want him around. If you ask Ross this question, I will be sure to send one of our minions out to chop your fingers off. If you then get skilled enough to type with your toes, I will send out another minion (I can’t have them get noticed) to remove all of your toes. If you’re so dedicated to professional wrestling and learn how to type with your nose, you will be killed by a third minion then dropped off in the bed of the next person that asks Jim Ross whether he’ll be at the next event in Oklahoma City.

– I read on Prowrestling.net, by way of PWInsider.com, that TNA Impact was unable to secure a sound stage at Universal Studios. I’m sure everyone believe Dixie Carter and her mother now that they’re not looking to sell the company. I’m sure every business is turned away by their largest supporter.

– Speaking of TNA, our good buddy Jeff Jarrett will return to the ring with his lovely wife Karen Jarrett for USA Championship Wrestling. I’m sure it’s just a primer for his special Royal Rumble appearance. I’m sure everyone would mark out for him like they did for Kevin Nash when he came back. Except they’d mark out for Jarrett when he’s the fastest man ever eliminated.

– I hate headline writers. I mention this because there was a header on Dot Net “ROH New: Current Champion Unable To Appear At Television Tapings” which I was bummed about because I thought it meant no Adam Cole. He is one of the few things to look forward to watching that dreadful product. Fortunately, the headline was marginally misleading because it was Kyle O’Reilly, half of the tag team champions, who won’t be at the tapings. I do like him as a wrestler but reDRagon has barely been on TV recently. No big loss. We’ll get to see another dozen matches between C & C Wrestle Factory and umm, hmmm, since ROH has the greatest tag team division in professional wrestling.

– Since we hop scotched over to ROH, let’s talk about AJ Styles. If for some reason you didn’t see Roderick Strong incorrectly hold onto Styles’s legs during a Styles Clash go to jdew1492’s Instagram account. I’ll hope that all of that working out he does in his gym in Tampa included neck strengthening exercises. If he’s out for an extended period of time, at least AJ Styles can rip off Zema Ion’s angle when he broke Jesse Sorensen’s neck. Should we take bets on whether ROH would let Roderick Strong go like TNA did to Sorensen? I’m sure Dan Kuester can give us a good over under for that bet. – Kevin

News You Can Use: Fire Crotch, Murder and More Sorensen

Ivelisse Fire CrotchIvelisse Velez was on Tattoo Nightmares on Spike TV. Thanks to Prowrestling.Net for pointing out it’s airing. What, you mean you don’t remember her from Tough Enough either? I’m glad I’m not the only one. I decided to tape it since it didn’t air during my usual viewing time at the gym. For those of you who didn’t watch, Ivelisse thought it was be a good idea to get a sexy tattoo of a phoenix rising…on her crotch. Because the phoenix is below her bikini (look up dummy) or tights line, it appears as if her crotch is on fire. The other problem, not pictured above, is that the phoenix is a negative image inside of all of the flames. Ivelisse didn’t think of the implications until fans chanted “fire crotch” at her.  She was smart enough to whore herself out and get more TV time by going on the show to get it fixed. Jasmine Rodriguez was her tattoo artist. Ivelisse wanted something more womanly and decided to go with a flower. Jasmine was smart enough to not go too much larger than the original tattoo and came up with a solid design. The only problem is she now has a much better done flower crotch. If Ivelisse has ever watched wrestling, she’d realize that once you have a nickname, it sticks with you even after you spend a decade in Japan and come back under a new persona. Have fun still being called “fire crotch” for the rest of your indy career.

Former WWE developmental Brian McGee fatally stabbed his girlfriend Bianca McGaughey. McGee will be charged with first degree murder when he gets out of the hospital because of course this dumb ass fled from the police and crashed his car. What are the chances that the sports media trots Vince McMahon in front of cameras and grills him about the back ground of his wrestlers like they did to Bill Belicheck about Aaron Hernandez? None, that’s what I thought too.

If you didn’t get our fill of Jesse Sorensen news in our podcast below (Seriously, it’s right there. I’m not even going to link to it. If they change pages, just hit next page you lazy bum.) Sorensen is now claiming that a friend put up his GoFundMe.com page and took a jab at Dixie Carter. Sorensen wasn’t concerned enough with the inflammatory remarks to get his meat head of a friend to take down the post. How about removing it while denouncing the post? Just go ahead and keep the money so that you don’t become the next Daniel Lugo. Thanks. -Kevin

Ivelisse Flower Fix

The tattoo is better but is flower crotch better?

#ROH Is The Worst Part V

washrinsepweb

There will be a lot of wash, rinse and repeat cycles for Ring of Honor. This topic will hopefully not be repeated. I thought about destroying Davey Richards & referee Paul Turner for what happened at the Border Wars iPPV. Davey Richards botched a double stomp on a returning Paul London. Wrestlers do have things go wrong no matter how good they are in the ring so I’ll give Richards an easy pass. From reading Chris Shore’s report on Prowrestling.net (because I’m not giving ROH money for an iPPV that is almost sure to fuck up), he noticed that London was dazed almost immediately. There was a fairly lengthy delay then Richards & London went with what is assumed to be the planned final of London getting caught with Richards’s knees when attempting a shooting star press. Shore called this stupid which at first I agreed with.

Then I reconsidered because of my own concussion. I was back pedaling for a fly ball in softball and whacked my head. A friend asked me “How many fingers am I holding up?” as he flipped me off. I said “One, asshole” and kept playing. It’s the last thing I remember even though I was involved in the final two outs of the season. According to others, I threw someone out at home and caught a fly ball to wrap up the game. It wasn’t until I came back to my folding chair that everyone noticed I wasn’t fine. I started asking frequently if I had fallen asleep in my chair. At that point, my then wife decided that I needed to be taken to the hospital. I wasn’t in the ring so maybe Richards & Turner talked to him, London responded and they moved on. I’d love to kill them but I can’t.

ROH later found that Paul London did in fact have a concussion from the incident and that all involved proceeded with the planned finish. Chris Shore was even more upset. I understand but it’s hard to know how London reacted unless you were in the ring. These guys are wired to be tough guys also so they do stupid things sometimes putting themselves in trouble. They should be more careful in the future. Now it’s time to watch this week’s show. Let’s see if I can get a second article out of them this week. -Kevin

Hulk Hogan + Brooke Hogan = Perv Twitter Responses

BrookesLegs

According to Prowrestling.net, Hulk Hogan got in trouble by the Twitter-verse for sending out this picture of his daughter that was labeled “Brooke’s legs”. For some reason, the Hulkster didn’t think this image would invoke the picture of him rubbing oil on his daughter’s ass or responses of him being a pervert on Twitter. The Hulkster has taken a break from Twitter after two days of being beaten up about it. For a change, I agree with Hulk that this isn’t creepy. Is it stupid? You better believe it. Brooke has great legs. It’s just too bad she has a man’s chin and face. Aside from that minor problem, she’s all woman.

As an added bonus, I found this picture of a t shirt for his new restaurant, Hogan’s Beach.

HogansBeach

It’s a fun t shirt that has more thought in it than any shirt currently on WWEShop or ShopTNA currently. I can’t delve into the meaning of this shirt because it’s standard design work. Glory Day Hulk Hogan? Check. Riding a shark because he’s so bad ass? Check. Beach? Whoops. I guess it’ll be at the end of the water they’re showing. I hope the shark doesn’t beach itself or Hogan might have PETA to answer to on Twitter instead of a bunch of creepy Twitter trolls. -Kevin

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