TNA Ready To Copy WWE Again

In Berlin from Streetartnews.com

In Berlin from Streetartnews.com

Just like yours truly, TNA saw the writing on the wall that Cody Rhodes was going to come up with another one trick pony gimmick, this time as Stardust. To combat this new angle and create their own, they decided to sign Matt Hardy. Matt is excited because he’s a one trick pony too. Unlike Cody Rhodes, he’s used only one gimmick his entire career. Matt is finally ready to reinvent himself though in his third go around in TNA. I’ve heard from sources that don’t exist that his new gimmick will be Madmartigan. He will help Willow retrieve a magical child who will banish Dixie Carter from TV. Carter will lock all of the Knockouts who are pregnant in Universal Studios. Madison Rayne’s midwife, ET, will aid in getting the child to Willow before being struck with diabetic shock from not eating enough Reese’s Pieces. Willow will meet Madmartigan, who is trapped by the evil Mummy, and get him out of his cage. Willow then entrusts Madmartigan with baby Claire. Madmartigan is attacked by Dixie’s general and his old rival (for the king of the mid-card in the WWE), MVP who takes Claire back to Dixie Carter. Just before Carter can banish Claire off of TV, Willow tricks Carter by making Claire disappear, like she was an employee at Universal Studios who didn’t want to put up with her own TV time any more. Carter then falls into her own spell that banishes her from TV. I can’t wait for this new Hardy reunion. – Kevin

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Stunt Granny Lunch Conversation – #WWE ‘Future Endeavor Day’

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Jeremy: So no more releases as of yet.

Kevin: I would have to think it’s ended now unless the rumor mill is true that no one can get a hold of JTG.

Jeremy: HA, poor JTG. Did you realize he was still employed?

Kevin: Yes because I’ve gone thru that roster page too often recently during shows. If I hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t know. He doesn’t even make Main Event.

Jeremy: If there was ever a time to replace him wouldn’t it be now? They have Xavier Woods after all.

Kevin: There is no reason to pay someone who can’t even make it to Main Event. JTG should be gone.

Jeremy: Unless he is a trainer behind the scenes? I have no clue what he does as a function for the company.

Kevin: Knowing the inner workings would always help. Maybe he helps choreograph the Funkadactyls routines.

Jeremy: Saw Chris post that he hasn’t had one match this year. What a great way to make money.

Kevin: More reasons to can the guy unless he’s doing something else for them. I bet he’s the mole who is giving TNA the scoop on the WWE’s story lines.

Jeremy: Then he is the worst possible mole ever. I have always figured TNA’s “mole” was the TYV in the office. “Hey look what they are doing. We should do that.”

Kevin: I can’t wait to see what they try to replicate tonight. Hold on, weren’t we talking about everyone who got canned? We haven’t mentioned any of them yet.

Jeremy: Oh yeah, well it sort of goes hand in hand. Some of these people could end up in TNA.

Kevin: If TNA is smart, they’ll stay away simply because more rip off jokes will follow. I know some of them might be useful with re-packaging but none of them are so good that they’ll drag TNA out of the dregs.

Jeremy: Out of the list of the released Evan Bourne will probably end up in ROH again or Dragon Gate USA. He is too talented for this to be the end of his career.

Kevin: He should land on his feet. No one else will care about the pot smoking. The rash of injuries usually subsides at some point. Hell, once brittle Fred Taylor even had a string of injury free years for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Jeremy: His injuries were from a car accident as well and then a string of “bad luck.” Regardless he has immediate merchandise potential as I have said since WWE called him up. TNA should take a look but they won’t.

Kevin: He’s the only guy I wouldn’t blame them for picking up. I’d be disappointed in him if he did that though. Everyone in wrestling has to know it’s a black hole.

Jeremy: At this time though if they come calling you sort of have to listen and at least consider it. Drew Mcintyre can still make a go of things.

Jeremy: Allow me to interrupt this conversation for breaking news: JTG has been released.

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Stunt Granny Audio #245

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Jeremy & Kevin start off your audio journey by talking about their piss poor recording effort last week. Why did a woman with a pig get dragged into this conversation? They move on to the topics that they started on last week. Does Matt Hardy even matter a week later? Whether Hardy does or not, CM Punk is certainly still news. What does his silence mean? Will fences be mended between him and the WWE? If they are, who can he fight at WrestleMania? Would he bump Daniel Bryan’s spot against HHH? How much at fault is the WWE in the recent crowd reactions? Who will enjoy booing of the main event of WrestleMania if it’s Randy Orton against Batista? How interesting will the crowd be at the Rosemont Arena in a few weeks? Would it work to have Batista turn heel and be the one to take on CM Punk? Is Roman Reigns ready to be a big player on the WrestleMania stage like some people have suggested?  Did the WWE pull the trigger on the Shield versus The Wyatts too early? How much of a train wreck is WrestleMania going to be in the story line department? Do they need a multi-wrestler match to help balance out the loss still of Money In The Bank? Find out the answer to these many questions along with Jeremy’s wedding plans when you click on the link below!

CM Punk Gone From @WWE Or Just Another Angle?

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Welcome to corporate America CM Punk. According to a report at TMZ.com CM Punk left WWE because of the way The Royal Rumble turned out and the plans for Batista to headline WrestleMania 30. He also disagreed with Daniel Bryan’s treatment and how he not only didn’t win the Royal Rumble but didn’t even appear.

Punk was livid when he learned officials scripted Batista to win the Royal Rumble … because he feels Batista isn’t in great wrestling shape and shouldn’t be featured in the title match at the upcoming WrestleMania.

So essentially, CM Punk wasn’t being recognized for his hard work and seeing others pass him on the corporate ladder pissed him off. This exact same scenario happens every single day in every office on the planet. I texted Kevin and said if this is all true then this is an absolute baby move by CM Punk. He doesn’t get what he wants so he takes off? He would have had a high profile, and logical, match with Triple H on the show. All signs pointed to CM Punk taking on Triple H for the last few weeks if not a month at the least. How was this a surprise? Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the situation of not getting his WrestleMania main event finally wore on Punk. His interviews recently point that he was on the borderline of a total burn out so it makes sense.

I take back though that this is a baby move on Punk’s part. It is actually a rather impressive move to walk away from guaranteed money. How many of your friends do you hear bitch about their jobs and do nothing about it? Punk essentially told his boss to fuck off and left. He took his ball and went home if you will. Instead of stewing and continuing to waste away, mentally and more importantly physically, in a job he doesn’t enjoy then why not just go? Yeah he has a contract and yes he is letting people down but if he feels that this is important enough to take these actions then he should be envied.

For more on this story as well as Matt Hardy getting arrested as well as Sting to WWE rumor mongering make sure and check out Stunt Granny Audio #245 tonight. – Jeremy

Matt Hardy has a new promotional video.

So it has been a while since Matt Hardy graced Stunt Granny and even longer since I had thought of the guy but when I read the headline  “Matt Hardy channels Ron Burgundy while promoting his Wrestling Cares Association match against Shawn Daivari” over at Prowrestling.net I had to give it a click.

The video is nothing different than any of the Hardy’s brand of humor that apparently still gets people excited about them. It isn’t terrible by any means and in fact there is one actually funny moment thanks to the grace of video editing.  One unintentionally funny item is that Matt, by his own admission in the comments, wore the wrong color shirt. Just check it out; you’ll see.

The most interesting part of the video is that Candace, or is it Candice, Michelle is wrestling Katie Lee Burchill and that Ryan Shamrock is making an appearance in Daivari’s corner. Who knew any of them were still active?  This isn’t an insult.

Last I knew Candace Michelle was busy weighing down society spitting out babies. Katie Lee Burchill, well, as far as I recall fell off wrestling after TNA screwed up her run? I haven’t seen Ryan Shamrock in a long time and no I am not and will not look up current pictures of her. I care to remember her as this skanky bitch that would totally get it from her WWF days. So leave me be with those memories.

In summary it has been a painfully slow news week so this got posted. Ha ha, you read it. -Jeremy

Matt Hardy is getting married

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You know how I know that? That thing I wrote, above, in the headline? It’s because there exists a website called http://skyhardwedding.com/, that’s why.

And so I’ll let you peruse that site at your leisure, and you can form your own opinions on the contents therein, but please allow me one split second on my soap box, just for one second.

Ahem.

All athletes who get married are idiots. You’re roaming around the countryside, going from town to town, state to state, you’ve got rats in every town (I’ve seen Bull Durham, it’s not just wrestling that that happens), there is almost a zero percent chance of a marriage working when you’re a “famous” professional athlete. Ask John Cena, he’ll tell you that there’s no way he would consider getting married again. Oh. Oops.

So, not that I would expect any sparking brain cells from that drug addled small penised belt collecting, job refusing fuckhead, but at least he’ll be able to afford a nice ceremony on that ROH money he’s bringing in.

And PS, fuck Bull Durham. Bad movie, and I love the DH. Makes baseball more exciting. Suck it. – Dusty

#ROH IS The Worst Part XI

manchester-arena-wrestlingOkay, Ring of Honor would never play an arena this size but it’s what I got when I typed in “arena floor plan wrestling” into Google. I had to go that route after “DuBurns Arena Floor plan” didn’t come up with anything useful. DuBurns Arena has no page on Wikipedia. The best I can do is the Coppermine Restaurant at Du Burns Arena on Facebook. They record at a fancy spot. Woof. The floor plan above will work as a nice tool though to describe what Ring of Honor did wrong now. They did do something right though. But let’s save the good news for after the bad news. I’m that kind of guy.

ROH was back in Du Burns Arena to tape some episodes. Normally, their floor plan would have their walk way through areas H and J then the entrance ramp would be at the large aisle between sections 116 & 117. The set up made it looks pretty full for an arena of well, probably no more than 3,000 since that was the size of the place they played here in Columbus. ROH decided to switch it up for the big match up between Matt Hardy and Jay Briscoe. They placed the entrance ramp in section 114 with a very short aisle to the ring. I have a problem with my example now because it doesn’t convey the tightness of the length of the aisle. Just pretend that the second deck isn’t there and section 114 is about half the size. The WWE has a similar set up when they go to Madison Square Garden. I don’t like that set up but it doesn’t bother me for one reason that became glaringly obvious when ROH used camera angles that weren’t the hard camera. The WWE packs MSG full so no matter what angle they film from, it’s a packed house. For whatever reason, ROH used more non-hard camera angle shots than I can remember in any other broadcast. The main problem as you can guess by now was that the crowd in sections 109-119 was sparse at best. So ROH did it’s best to point out that an arena that is likely in the 3,000 seat area was not full. Even TNA isn’t this stupid. To compound the problems, it seemed that they acknowledged this problem by filming really close up to the wrestlers to minimize the amount of crowd seen. I have close up filming in movies and wrestling because you lose context. ROH is the worst.

The good news? Even though ROH was dumb enough to leave their title belt on Jay Briscoe who was leaving the company (dumb) but they did two smart things. They didn’t put the strap around Fat Hardy’s waist. The other upside was that SCUM beat down Mark & Jay Briscoe before they were booted from the company. TNA wasn’t smart enough to with DOC recently so we need to give ROH an “Atta boy” pet every now and again. -Kevin

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